Advice To Self

I’ve always been a fan of these first few lines of a poem by Dylan Thomas:

“Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

I used to think it was wonderfully brave and something to live by. I’ve never been a fan of Old Age and these words were going to help me deal with all of it when it was my time to be Old. And, I think for the most part, I have followed this advice. I took great personal pride in that too. I have seen people, friends, who just sort of Slide into old age, and often they look/act even older than they actually are. They don’t seem to care about any of the negative aspects of it either. I know Freud would reassure me that my warped perception of Old Age is messed up because I had a stern, dictatorial mother who placed too much importance on Appearances. And even though I always knew that was not the way to define your life/choices, it somehow crept into my perception anyway. Living in Southern California will also play into that. Getting Botox or having your lips made larger is as common as going to the grocery store here.

I’ve noticed recently that I don’t really care about being brave or fighting Old Age…..or needles in my face. And I’ve not sure why being combative against the effects of elder years was so compelling to me. I continue to dress well, make sure my appearance is the best it can be, considering…..but I have no interest in going to battle anymore. It’s entirely possible that the desirable trait of Old Age Wisdom has finally made its way into my brain. At least, that’s what I’m hoping has happened. Life could be even better than I already think it is. Life is pretty darn good right now and how great would it be to eliminate all forms of “Petty” from my thinking.

I continue to strive for a life where I can “Live In The Moment,” pay attention to the small wonderful events like having a really good laugh, treasure the smiles on the faces of my grandchildren when they see me, take a good look at the colors of the sky at sunset, appreciate the cup of hot coffee my husband makes for me in the morning, or a hundred more things just like that. Maybe I’m realizing that instead of looking for a Fight and conquering the enemy, I can just relax and enjoy what’s right in front of me the whole time.

I love having these moments of introspection where I feel I’ve finally found The Secrets To Life. The hard part is actually applying it instead of letting the old demons push their way in. But perhaps that Wonderful Old Age Wisdom will hang around and it’ll all be so much easier……the older I get, the more I like Easy.