I’ll be alone… It’s sad…

This terrible weather is making me so so SAD and I feel like in depression. It’s raining all the time. And it’s quite cold there. I’m getting crazy at home. Yesterday I went just to shop ;/;/  It was great chance to try my new clothes ;D

And what You think about???

Yeah this weather is making me more, more and more sad… I start thinking about all those things what happened during last year… I have read my diary… Read all my feelings with I wrote in this small calendar with sunflowers. And I stared crying… I don’t know why, but I started. I know that big girls don’t cry, but I can’t… I hate this town! I hate my dance teacher… I hate my ideas… I hate this that I went to Csipero… I wouldn’t be sad and missing Tomi if I have never gone to Kecskemet. And now I’m sad… So SAD! I need to talk somebody. I won’t cut myself… I have to stop with it!!! I need…

Maciek…

Sometimes I feel like bitch… He is so nice for me… Sometimes too nice. And I’m so bad for he… Not always of course, but sometimes…

When I was reading my diary I saw that he was always near. And from March he was inviting me:
-to swimming pool (he is training diving and he loves water-I don’t); and we didn’t go.
-to study physic and chemistry together; we didn’t because I didn’t want. BTW if he suggest me it this year I’ll say yes xD
He was asking million times about this things and I always said NO or something like that. Finally I said yes, when the school was finishing and he invite me for ice creams. He was so happy. And after this "date" I came to conclusion that maybe swimming pool won’t be as bad as I thought. And maybe I should give him a chance?

But easy Margit. Boys don’t like you… And I’m sure Maciek’ will be just my friend. Because I’m not kind of girl who is going for dates. It’s sad, but true. Boys don’t like me. And I’ll never have a boyfriend, because they won’t be with somebody like me. And I have the mirror! I know how I look like. And I don’t see anything what can be sexy. It’s the true!

Yeah my life is failure
Sad but true

"Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible"
/Shontelle-Impossible/