Dear 2010 part 3

October

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Hi!

Sorry that I didn’t write, but last week was so hard. I had lot of study and got many good (and one bad) marks. But let’s start from beginning.

Last Sunday was IV anniversary of my Dad’s death. It’s sad, and I miss he so much. I didn’t know he well but I really want to have father. I know that God is my best father, but I want to have another one there. But it’s OK. I remember him and I won’t stop. I have many old photos of me and my dad. I’ll post them one day, because I have to scan them before 🙂

Monday
Good day 🙂 I feel really good and can take breath! Geography was so boring so I asked Maciek if he won’t go with me to cinema for Street Dance 3D , because my sister is going with her friends and I have to go with them (‘cuz they are 12). He says that he wants. And after:
-Your 16th birthdays are soon.
-No, they are in January
-Yes and it’s so little while because I will give you something special.
-Maciek, you are so cute, but you don’t have to.
-Gosia, but I want make you happy.- I really want to tell him that I’ll be happy when he’ll be happy and when I can breath every time. Really I’m the happiest person ever when I meet with him, talk, joke, laugh, take photos and don’t suffocate. When he hugs me, looks into my eyes and smiles. But I didn’t say anything I just looked at he. -So tell me what can make you happy?
-hyymmm… -I can’t tell him the true- be creative.
-Again? -OMG, I always speak him that he have to be just creative.
-Yes. It’ll make me the happiest person in the world.
-OK.
xD he’s so cute… I’m so scared about his creative ideas. xD

Tuesday
Good day, my cousin Dominika’s 18th birthdays! And I got 5 form vocabulary! WOW!

Wednesday
Really successive day at school. 
English: 5
Physic: +5! (but probably it’s my last good mark form physic this term)
Society: +5
And medics works! It works and I feel really good! I have just small coughing fit in the morning before school. I started living! I feel good and I believe my infection is going away!

Thursday
BOY’S DAY!
I made video about boys from my class, they really enjoy it! I’m so happy. And I go to Maciek to express him wishes.
-Hi, best wishes from…
-Gosia, stop.
-Why?
-Come I want to hug you! -And he hug me so strong, it was really close hug. Like never at school (on lesson).
After I go to express Kuba wishes he said:
-Goska, great video, really positive, can I hug you? Maciek won’t kill me?
-Yes you can.
Kuba has great hair style, long brown hair, just about 5cm shorter than my ;D
After Marcin (this guy who has condoms in pockets) came and says:
-Malgosia, Gosia, Gosienka, I didn’t hug you today…-And he put his hands around my waist. And hug me. I had high-heels so I was more high than he. He should be happy that Maciek didn’t see it. He really doesn’t like when Marcin touch me xD Especialy when I don’t say "Yes" or "OK".
After Szabla:
-Gosia. Great video-and hug me.
And girls who enjoy my work too, and our tutor. It’s great feeling when people like your video.
Marks:
Art: 5
Religion: 5
Chemistry: 3 xD and my teacher says: "Gosia! You are more thin that last week!"
This day was so bad… I suffocate on Maths ;/ I saw how much scared was Maciek, my desk mate ignores it. ;/ She doesn’t care. At home was bad too. I couldn’t breath and NOTHING helped me! I was crying! I can’t stand it! Yesterday was so good and today is so bad!

Friday:
Marks:
English: 6 from grammar!

Bad day! I can’t breath! I suffocated on P-E Maciek looked at me all the time. And after he asked:
-Gosia, are you OK?
-No. I’m not I can’t breath.
-I see. Can I help you?
-No, nobody can help me.
-breath easy.
-OK.
-Don’t die! I need you.
-OK, I won’t die now!
And he can’t go with me to the cinema, because he has to visit his sister in

Krakow, this year she starts university. He was so sad when he was talking me about it. So I go with Emi ;D

Now it’s better, but I still feel bad . It’s hard to breath.

I was normal during few days, now I have to take war with my infection.

Love You all!

XX

breathe easy!

PS
I’m so sorry about all mistakes but I’m so tried and I’m coughing all the time. ;/

 Next month of my fight.
Felt bad.
Couldn’t breathe
Needed extra oxygen few times.
Tried to life normal
Lot of pills
Lost weight…
Had “small port” ;/
So scared about future

November

Boys…
Marcin: Look! Her (my) eyes are so fucking amazing!
Me: Is it bad?
Marcin: ha ha ha
Maciek: I don’t mind. I really like your eyes…

And?
Nothing more. ;/

Today on cemetery priest said:
"They didn’t die! They are sleeping"
Yeah so my dady’ll wake up one day. 🙂

Lungs: today OK
Heart: needs love

Love You!
 

PS
I wanna to change colours on my diary… I need to think about it…

Better…
New pills.
Didn’t need extra oxygen
Started putting on weight.
Year of my OD!

December

Hi guys!

I was so busy…
My life is so crazy.
I can’t stand it, but last time happened few things with made me so happy 🙂

On Friday I went with Maciek to shopping centre to buy gift for Dominika.
We spend great time…
And when my bus came… HUG! Yeah!
You can’t image how much I needed it.
Maciek is really good at hugging 😀

Saturday = PARTY!
Great non-alcohol party ;D
But because of Dominika’s cat I started sneezing and had fit.
But easy… It went away son and I could came back to party.

When I came back to home on Friday evening (about 8:30pm) it started snowing!
LOL!

It’s snowing all time long.

It’s freezing but I feel oxygen in my lungs ;D great feeling 🙂

I’ll publish photos from Dominika’s party soon.

I promise I’ll post videos from last time and today 🙂 But I’m so tired now

Good night!

Breathe easy!

Mood:
Music: Homework from Religion
 

Crazy month.
Felt quite better, but couldn’t forget about pills.
Have boyfriend :O
And I am so happy about it!