So worried

After work yesterday I went to my daughter’s to give her some cash that my mom paid me back. (I can’t deposit it into my checking or savings account because my bank is out of state. All I can deposit are checks and if course direct deposits. So when I get cash I give it to my daughter and she in turn writes me a check or Zelles it to me.) I ended up visiting my daughter for an hour because she had alot to talk about. Recently she told me that she was working from home for a little bit because she was feeling overwhelmed at work for some reason. Well I guess it got worse than that. She was feeling great depression and feeling complete dread when thinking about having to go into work. Her work suggested she take a leave of absence though it’s unpaid because she hasn’t been at this company long enough for FMLA. My daughter didn’t want to do that but felt it was her only option with how she was feeling. She had stayed in bed for 3 days not eating, not getting up to take her meds, only to go to the bathroom. Finally she made herself get up and get dressed to do something and went to do yard work… from there she started doing some things but still was barely existing in the same room with her fiance. It’s obvious she is very depressed. I asked if she was still taking her depression medicine and she said she just started taking it and it was just getting into her system. She’s questioning whether her job is good fit for her. She says there are aspects of it she loves but it doesn’t challenge her and it isn’t as fast paced as she likes but she doesn’t think that’s what’s causing the feeling of dread. She said she loves the mental health field but wonders if it’s a fit for her now. I suggested she go see a counselor asap. She’s afraid to start that because she’s afraid she’ll have to leave her job and then lose insurance and not be able to finish counseling. I still think she needs to go. That may help her discover what’s causing these feelings and maybe even help her go back to work. I’ve never seen her break down like she did last night. She’s always held her emotions in, and never talks to me about her feelings. I’m really worried about her!  I love my kids so much and when things aren’t going well in their lives it hurts my heart!

I’ve taken on more responsibilities at work. I’m now not only shaving Marty’s face but now having to shave his head. I’m doing his laundry now as well. I’m running to stores almost daily getting him the things he needs. All these things on top of all my other responsibilities. It’s been fine though going up and down his basement can hurt my hips and now my left heel/ ankle. 

Speaking of my left heel/ ankle… it’s been bothering me for a year or 2 but I’ve ignored it. Now it’s hurting more than ever. I’ve been having trouble walking down the stairs every evening after laying down to read and especially after I’ve slept for the night. Now it’s been even all day just walking period. I finally called a local podiatrists office. My old foot doctor is now retired so this is a new start. I had serious problems with my feet growing up and even into my 20’s. Since then I’ve been fine… until now. I go Friday the 13th in the morning. 

Well I have some running to do for Marty before work so I guess I’m done here. I also have to make a salad and fruit salad again. So take care my friends!