VENTING
I know I am sooo behind on my notes. The past two or three weeks have sucked BIG time!
Apparently work was not being done by the clerk before me, so we have warrants backed up since 2006.
My boss decided it was a good idea to ‘catch them up.’
I am so angry, not at her, mostly at myself.
I come in early, work through my lunch and have stayed late and I am still behind.
It’s not because I am lazy, it’s because there is just so much work to do.
She really means well and is trying to help by staying late printing out the warrants and adding the fees in the computer, but that really makes it tough on me because when I come in in the mornings there is a huge stack of warrants with a note saying, "NEED TO BE ENTERED INTO OMNI" and another stack with a note saying, "NEED TO ISSUE COMPACTS."
I want to ask her if she knows how long it takes to break down the amounts and enter them into Omni.
I want to tell her, why doesn’t she go ahead and issue the compacts herself?
Because she doesnt have time?
What makes her think I DO?
Apparently it wasn’t so important when her last clerk was here, why do we all of a sudden have to get this done?
That’s why I am angry. I am too nice to tell her this is too much work being put on me. I’d rather come in on my free time and do the work and make her think it’s okay to overwhelm me because I can handle it.
Besides the usual "EVERYDAY" stuff, I have a stack of this here and a stack of that here, and a hidden stack over here…
To make things worse, I had no clean panties last night so I had to wash an emergency load at like 9pm.
It made me angry because Lo is always complaining about me "NOT LISTENING." If I forget something he said like 5 years ago, I get yelled at because, "I NEVER LISTEN."
So I am always telling him to wash my panties with whatever load he is putting in the washer. My panties are all light colored so if he washes darks, I told him its okay to throw them in there, they are just panties…
Anyway, I am frustrated and my ass is hanging out and its cold and I just took a shower so I yell at him and tell him that I am not the only one who doesnt listen. I have told him the panty thing numerous times and the last time he washed, he disregarded the panty thing and now I had no panties!!!
Well, he tried to make me feel guilty. He said, "Well, I’m sorry for being the only one that washes…"
Ohhhh what a stupid move.
I told him I didn’t know we kept tabs on who does what, and if that’s the case I didn’t ever see him cooking dinner, or making a grocery list, or planning our dinners for the week. I told him I never saw him cleaning the restroom, or mopping the floors.
That was all that was said, before going to sleep he told me he was very sorry he didn’t wash any of my panties.
I told him the panties were not the issue. It was the stupid remark he made about me never doing laundry.
Yes, he does laundry 90 percent of the time but he gets home at 3:30 every day. I get home an hour later and have to COOK AND CLEAN.
On Saturday, cleaning day, he does laundry because I have to do everything else. He puts a load in, goes to get the oil changed or whatever we need done to the car and then sits on the couch and watches basketball.
It made me so angry that he is complaining about bending over and taking clothes out of the hamper and putting them in a machine and shutting the door. (Oh my bad, he also has to put the soap in, maybe I AM taking advantage of him…)
Good Lord help me.
That Milanos pizza is starting to look really really good. Especially on a cold day like this, MMM mmm MMMM.
Last night I was watching I USED TO BE FAT on Mtv and the girl losing weight was working out non stop, and eating healthy and she wasnt losing much weight. The trainer couldnt figure out what the deal was, so she came to the conclusion that she was having cheat days. (Which she was)
Then she was so angry because she wasnt losing any weight. She kept relying on food to comfort her.
I really really related to the girl. When I get upset like this, or when I am moody and am on my period I rely on food for comfort.
It really DOES make me feel good to eat some really cheesey pizza, and I started to wonder what other things I can get back into to fill that void… Painting again? Reading? I have to do something.
I can’t keep having cheat days, I am cheating MYSELF like the personal trainer lady said.
I really am only maintaining my weight this way.
I want to see real results. I want to see myself do this, but first I need to have faith in myself and BELIEVE I can do it.
NO more excuses.
Anyway. I am back on facebook.
Sigh….
And I will definitely come back and note all my favorite peeps! I have not forgotten about you guys!