Since my last update I have…

1. NOT lost 30lbs. Are you kidding? During the holidays… Yall should know me better than that!
2. GAINED 3lbs…  Expectedly… (Spell check? WORD check?)

Nothing new with me.
Same ol’ same ol’.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

r with me. Can you imagine what was going through my head at that moment?
And the poor guy had no clue I was a psycho.

I remember the week after that he tried to kiss me in the hallway, and I totally avoided it.
I wanted to kiss him but not at school with everyone passing by!!!! NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL!!!!

I remember I broke up with  him not too long after that…. I DO NOT remember why.

After class everyday he would wait for me and I would walk him to the stairwell where we would part ways-
but after we broke up,  he got up and was the first one out the door again.
Then I think I still tried to be friendly with him and he didn’t really want to be friends, or talk I think because he was very short with me.
Then one day he told me he was moving to TEMPLE, TX.
And then one day he just didn’t show up at school anymore….And that’s the last I heard from him.
When I was in college and Myspace was the big thing- and I looked him up.
I think I saw something about him joining the millitary…

This past Monday morning I came in and looked him up on Facebook, after doing all this wondering…
And he’s on there.

His page is private, but I can see from his profile pic he still looks the same as he did in highschool.
On his pic, he is hugging a girl infront of the Alamo… Atleast thats what I think it is…
I should have paid attention in that History class lol.
Also- Under MOVIES, I saw that he added SAVING PRIVATE RYAN. Which made me smile.

I came home that night and thought about why I broke up with him, I could not come up with a reason.
Maybe we didnt have good chemistry.
Maybe he was completely boring…
I started watching a re-run of FRIENDS that night, and WICKED GAMES came on… Isn’t that funny?

This blog entry is not about getting back together with him. I am married now,..

With this blog entry, I wanted to sort of, organize my thoughts, and get the closure that I need.

He never looked me up, atleast I don’t think, so apparently he got the closure he needed when I broke up with him.
He moved on and never looked back. (I mean what else do you need?)

Who else needs more than a break up to get closure but me?

The point of this blog is that I do wonder. I do dwell.
 
Especially when I feel alone and I feel like I am not being understood or I feel like I am being mistreated.

I start thinking of all the nice guys I dated that really DID like me,  and I wonder about what could have happened and what would have happened had we never broken up.

I start to feel bad for whatever I did to the nice guys to drive them away.

I look them up and stare at their pictures and wish I had the courage to actually contact them and  apologize for being a BITCH.

Why else would I look him up? I don’t even know him. Our lives are completely different now, we don’t have anything in common.
I’m not even sure if we ever did.
 

Well,  DT:

If you ever come accross this, (which you won’t because this is totally going to be a private entry:)

You were a sweet guy.

I’m sorry for spending a whole summer wondering who you are, and dumping you after a couple of weeks.

I’m sorry for not trying harder to get to know you, the REAL you.

I’m sorry for not kissing you that day in the hallway.

I’m sorry for bothering you after I broke up with you, you probably didn’t  want to talk to me at all anymore.

I wish you well in life.
I hope you’re being treated alot better than I ever treated you.

And I thank you.

Thank you for giving me a chance in highschool.

Thank you for the memories that make me smile everytime I do listen to WICKED GAMES…

And thank you for unknowingly being my SOUTHERN SUN for a whole summer!  

 

Love,

Karina