DAY 02

DAY 02- THE MEANING BEHIND YOUR OPENDIARY NAME

When I started this diary, I was so frustrated with myself.  I wanted to be ANYONE BUT ME.  I was UNhappy.

I tried to be optimistic, I even started writing entries on how I needed to change… I was really trying to figure myself out, and I can finally say that slowly I am getting there. (NO, NOT THERE YET.)

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Reading through other diaries I started around the same time, I wrote myself a note saying how much I hated myself.

I really did!  I used those exact words, "I HATE YOU KARINA GALVAN. I HATE YOU."
 

I had a love/hate relationship with ME.

I have never really hated my physical self. I have always been pretty comfortable with the way I look. 
I am not trying to be conceited, as I know I am not the most beautiful girl in the world.

When I got to highschool which I guess was shortly after I hit puberty and I realized I was stuck with my big nose, my little rat ears, I knew my boobs were going to stay small, my butt and thighs were going to stay huge, my belly was going to be stubborn,  and that i was going to stay short- I was like, "WELL THIS IS ME… TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT." (My mom always said I was going to "CHANGE" as I grew older…) The things I wanted so badly to change stayed the same.

Even though I had so many imperfections, I always got asked out by boys, that was NEVER a problem. The only one that had a problem with all that stuff was ME.

The problem was WITHIN ME. I was UNHAPPY. That’s why there’s so much hate in the name. Even though it’s different now, I keep the name because its a constant reminder of how things used to be, and how much better I have it now. My life is not perfect, neither am I but I work on it everyday.