Today’s Going to be a Good Day…

… if it kills me.

Work was very "meh" yesterday.  I just kind of turned my headphones on loud enough to block out the world and did the work I wanted to do… which was ::gasp:: My work.  Shocking, isn’t it?  Well, it is to me, all things considering.  Started out that I was to help with one of the audits and then focus on a set of reports that go to the Controller, and then pick up one or two other little things.  Then one of the auditors got hurt and I got her work on top of it… which isn’t bad.  I mean, She has the two audits that take an hour each to complete (the bad part was the fact that she was a week behind on them so it took me 3 days to catch up), so I could do those, work on the third audit, and still have my afternoons for my work.  Then another auditor (who’s Tribal, which means his shit doesn’t stink) decided that work wasn’t something he wanted to do, and i’m given his work on top of it.  So for the past week, week and a half, I’ve been told to focus on the audits of the other two auditors and ignore the work that the Controller’s tapping his foot about.  I haven’t touched the reports for this year.  I’m 4 weeks behind.  I think that’s a lot of my stress and depression.  Add in the fact that there’s a clique that I’m totally on the outs with, and the fact that I’m 10 years younger than the next youngest person in my department (hell, in that whole section of the casino) and Work’s not a happy place.  They don’t discriminate against me because of my youth, but when all that’s being talked about is babies and husbands and stuff.. I have nothing to say to anyone.  So I spent 7.5 hours in a cubicle, surrounded by people talking while I’m pretty much ignored.  Not fun.

I got off work last night and popped over to my sister’s to get her routing information so I could finish her taxes.  I put that all in.  She should get her taxes within a week or so.  She’s happy.  We dropped her off at work and went out to the Copper Creek Cafe to eat.  I had a salad.  Forgot that it wasn’t Raspberry Vinagrette but Red Wine Vinagrette that I like, so I ended up mixing the Raspberry dressing with an Italian one.  It was actually really tasty.  Also had a long island. Mmm… the long islands there are amazing.  The waitress undercharged me for it, so I told her that they were 3.25 but 6.75.  I know it sounds bad, but I normally wouldn’t correct a mistake like that (hell, most of the time, I don’t even look at the receipt except for the finished total) but I really like this place and want to make sure they stay open… I’ve been talking to some of the people who work downstairs, like Nicie, and telling her how awesome the long islands and the food is there.  Hehe. Yay for happy customers promoting local restaurants.

Got home and called my Aunt Louise.  I spent about an hour with her on the phone, the majority of that being me ranting about work and whatnot.  She said that a lot of my stress and depression is coming from work and suggested that I put in my resume at other places.  I took her advice, polished up my resume and cover letter and sent it off to about a dozen places last night – only about a third of ’em in my state.  I figure if I want to make a change, might as well give it a chance to be a big change.  I put a few apps in at Maryland, a few in at Virginia, one or two in West Virginia, and one in New Mexico, just for shits and giggles.  I wanted to put one or two in at Seattle, up here in Washington but I was talking to Mom and we figured that she’d follow me where I go – just after the lease is up and whatnot.  And she really doesn’t want to move to Seattle. 

Ben hopped online last night too.  He knew he was going to be exhausted today, and knew that he really didn’t have the time or the energy, after starting a new job, to hop online.  I told him I needed him, and he was there.  I could feel a load lifting up off my shoulders as we talked.  I don’t remember talking about anything really… soulbearing with him, and we have been emailing back and forth, but having him there just… I don’t know, it was good.  I finally shipped him off to bed at around 11:00pm. 

Woke up this morning and everything was alright… woke up late, got dressed, got to work.

I feel good. I don’t know if it’s because a) Brenda’s not here, b) It’s Friday, c) I have dinner AND a game tonight, or d) I got to talk to Ben.  He admitted that he still loves me, which made me feel good.  I told him I already knew that, and I was glad that he finally admitted it.