Tired, but not Sleepy

Last night really sucked.  I don’t want to get into what happened, it’s enough to say it sucked and I hope I never have to go through another night like it… as unlikely as that may be.  

The RIFTs game went good today, I actually was prepared for once and they’re on the cusp of something awesome.  

Then I got the call where I found out my grandfather (on my mother’s side, and the last of my grandparents) passed away today.  Yeah… i found this out in the middle of said RIFTs game.  I don’t know how i feel about it.  I didn’t know my Grandfather.  I met him once while we were going through Chicago on our way up here to Washington.  

That was 19 years ago.

He never called, never wrote.  Granted I never tried to get into contact with him either… but yeah.  Mom didn’t have much to do with him, and he was her father.  she was close to Grandma, and when Grandma died, she was… she didn’t take it well.  Neither did I, truth be told.  

It just… I can’t help but wonder if I’m a bad person because I don’t mourn the death of a man without whom I wouldn’t exist.  I’m sad that he’s gone, but only in an abstract way.  

I don’t know. I just know that I’m going to be taking a few days off from work.  I hate the reason why I’m going to be able to get the days off, but I’m happy that I’ll have a few extra days of rest.