Too Much

It’s all to much, I can’t handle it anymore. I just want to go away from everything. and everyone. I don’t feel like myself anymore. I’m crying all over the place at just anything. My best friend and mine’s relashionship is falling apart. I can’t seem to talk to my boyfriend about anything anymore, it’s not that I don’t want to tell him. It’s just that I can’t…I can’t do it. I can’t do anything..I can’t. I feel helpless. The more I think about it..this is the way I felt after Greg died..I shouldn’t have gone to Florida..I shouldn’t have .I wouldn’t feel this way. Everything would have been a memory, and I would have remebered it all, the way I did before. When I was went the last time. I just..shouldn’t have gone. All the bad memories came flooding back. And just..everything. Pain. Happienes. Relif. Grief. Anger. Last night I had about..an hour when I just cried, and thought about killing myself. Which I haven’t done in 2 years. Now if you say that’s stupid,it’s all your thoughts. I’ve heard it all "Think of all the people who will miss you, if you decide to take your own life, It’s the most selfish thing you can do" Yes, I know I’ve heard it all. I know. I’ve even said it to other’s that have the same problem. I don’t even know what my problem is exacly. I just want out. Out of it all.

Log in to write a note

“When you get to the end of your rope, and you think that you aren’t worth anything, tie a knot and hang on, because you are worth it.”

July 24, 2005

well yeah lol its not easy. but hey im not drunk tonight! so thats good. ttyl bye.

July 24, 2005

heheeh, I’m an irish dancer. XD *~:.I am the

July 25, 2005

Awww, i think these kind of entries are really hard for me because i do not know what to say, all i can think of is that you should hold your head high and be strong. I know its horrible when all you can do is cry but im sure you will be fine in the morning or very soon. You take care of your self *Hugs*

(thanks for the note btw) Even though I really don’t know what you’re talking about (as this is the first entry I’ve read of your diary), but I do feel that I somewhat understand. That’s the point where I am. Still sorta fighting (if you can call fighting merely living, which I do), but … for the most part, I don’t want to, and I think I called it quits a long time ago. note me back

I feel bad when I say bad things about girls, me being a girl and all, somehow I feel as if I’m being disloyal. I guess I am. It’s funny, you say you and your best friend are kinda like sisters, and that’s part of the reason I couldn’t stand my friend anymore, because she was like a little sister, always wanting to BE ME. :S

July 25, 2005

awe thats too bad hun! i know how u feel though… time for you to start over and become someone that u what…. instead of maybe what u think others want… thanks for the note

Talk to me. Whatever your problems are with everything, any or all of them, I want to help, but you know why you can’t talk to me? You don’t WANT help, and you know I’ll provide it. Well, if you stop talking to me, if you stop being honest, what do YOU expect to happen? You say you don’t want to lose me… so please stop pushing me away and shutting me out, sweetheart… *Less Than Three*

July 26, 2005

hey thanks for the comment. I think ur diary’s kewl. Mind if I add you to my faves?

July 27, 2005

Thanks!