4/17/06

It feels like forever since I’ve written in here. It’s not that I forgot about this diary, it’s just..well..I’m lazy..so let’s see what has everyone missed..Mostly March.. Hm. Jo came up for spring break in March. That was interesting. Really. We kinda had to stay with my auntie all week, because my mother being the bitch she is, didn’t want us to be alone. And, my aunt has three little ones. I felt really bad. I mean, I was so mad the entire week with my mom. She’s so..GR! But anyway. We had alot of fun..I don’t know why, but it was so hard for me to see him go. I didn’t go upstairs untill later that night, because I knew that it would remind me of him. Well most everything did, but just that the most. I know this might sound weird… but..it hurt me that he was leaveing. I know it wasn’t his falt, I mean, he had to catch the plane, and he HAD to leave sometime. But I wasn’t ready for him to leave yet. Even though I knew he was comming back in April. (The 20th! I explain in a moment.) It didn’t seem that hard for him though.While I was sulking around crying all day, he was on the plane, and we he got home he went to his friend’s house. I dunno why but that hurt me alot too. *Shurg* I guess it was some sort of emotional thing. Probley anything he would have done would have hurt, because he wasn’t with me.

 And, this month. Well. It’s been a big struggle for me. My best friend here, Cee. Well, her mom had a heart attack on Monday. I was really close to her mom. I would always go out of my way to talk to her. She was so fun, and open. I know that she wasn’t the greatest mom to Cee. I knew that she stole money from her dad..and all that. But she had some good qualitys. She was careing.Anyway, Cee’s mom right now, is pretty much like an infant. Most of her brain died from lack of oyxgen. Because she was without it for about 15 mins. And was ressessitated 3 times. It’s been mostly hard for me, seeing one of my bestest friend’s going though the pain I did with my step-dad. She says that, her mom is kinda dead to her, because she isn’t like she was. I know that feeling..I never wanted her to experence that kind of pain. Or anyone for that matter. Watching someone like that..just..is aweful. You remember the times when they could talk, and laugh and walk. It makes me appreciate the fact that I’m mostly healthy. The docter’s said it’s probley impossible that she’ll recover. Cee’s not going to give up hope on her. And neither am I. I refuse to. I hate docter’s and I don’t trust them. They rely on science mostly. And what that tells them is what is going to happen to people. I don’t think very many of them rely on miricles. I hope, that Cee’s mom get’s better. And I’m not giveing up hope anytime soon. And I hope that she doesn’t eaither. I don’t want her to end up like I did. I was in so much emotional pain, when Greg passed on. I know I was happy that he moved on, but I still expected him to walk through the door smelling like oil, and grass from work. (He was a Golf Course Mechanic..) I just hope that Cee knows that I’ll always be there for her, if she needs me. I hope that she knows that. I’ve tried to be there for her. I’ve gone to the hospital almost everytime that she’s been there. And when I found out the news on Monday, I dropped everything and made mom drive up to the hospital, and I stayed there with her, and spent the night at her house so she wouldn’t be alone..If you guys would please pray for a miricle, so that Cee’s mom can get better, or at least try.

On Saterday, is my first prom. Yep! I am going to wear a big poofy dress, and high heels. And Jo’s going to be in a tie and suit. Life just never quit’s touchering you, eh? Alex and Cee are going with us. As "Friends". (They’re boyfriend and girlfriend, they just don’t know it yet.) And were going to go out to eat, get all fancy and what not. Let’s just hope it all goes as planed..(PLEASE!)