the dance of my life

i desgined my tattoo today. i have been thinking and working on it for a few years. and i finally drew it out today. lots of alterations from the original idea, but this is what i want. i’m not sure about the text at the bottom…it will HAVE to be larger…the lettering is just TOO small on paper.
steve and i are going to get it done sometime when i am home. i was going to go to the really fancy place where he gets his done…but one you need a two month in advance appt. two it is really expensice and three it is a really simple tattoo. there is not reason to pay top dollar for it. there are plenty of skilled artists in mt. pleasant who could do it. because it is so damn simple. it really is…a simple kind of life.
i’m having a few qualms about the text…
it has been my favorite song for years, because the lyrics are just amazing.
the only problem is that when i think of a simple life in a broader sense i envision a non-materialistic person who lives simply. which is not my style at all. i love my shoes and hangbags.
so as long as it is symbolic of my love for no doubt, that song and my desire to live a midwestern life with two point five children.
and obviously the state of michigan because it is my home.
only a few more days of work/british life.
tomorrow is a bank holiday and i only have to to work from 8-9 11-1 2-4.
then tuesday is normal, sadie and i will go to the library that day and then my last day is wednesday! sadie and i have our playgroup at 10-12 and i have brownies at 6-8
then i am coming home.
it is all working out so well. my bags are all packed, besides a few cosmetics and my pre-approved outfits for the week.
my cell phone has arrived in the mail, my absinthe is coming this week and then life will be perfect.
besides the fact that my sister has cancer and i am moving back in with my parents and working at china hell which i just can’t seem to escapre from.
last night mallory said i’ll be working there till i’m 80. that some week i’ll spend all of my social security check and work a shift at china garden for a free lunch and $40. and i laughed because it is so true.
as much as john and mary and everyone else is just out of their mind…
it is still a job, and i can come and go as i please. which is my method of work.
new york in 4-5 weeks. YES!!
i am really happy right now.

today em pointed out everything i did ‘wrong’ and how it was good that i have a reason to go home. i told her there was no reason to hash out all the negatives so late in the game. and that regardless of my sisters illness i would have left because mark is sexist and i don’t think women should be dominated like animals.
and he came home and the conversation ended immediatly.
i consider it a win.
i’m not a raging bull dyke with a now membership in every state…so i use the term and idea of a feminist lightly…
i just think it is really wrong for a man to walk into a room and demand control of whatever is happening at that moment. it’s so selfish and demeaning to those forced to submitt.
i’m just glad that i’m leaving. let mark boss around their new romanian au pair who speaks little english. she’ll enjoy the shit show here.
very excited to see my friends…
seems like a lot of people are coming to my party. numbers aren’t really important..as long as the girls are with me.
but it would still be sweet to have a good party.
goodnight!

ma’am