the avalanche

it is very difficult to imagine these next couple of entries being anything besides…HOME HOME HOME!
which is my future destination.
it’s just bullshit here.
every tuesday sadie and i go to the library(about twenty miles away) and we take the train. so after parking and train tickets it costs around £7. So i asked em this morning if she had the money, and she goes no, use your own we’ll pay you back.
YEAH FUCKING RIGHT.
i’m not going to spend any of my money. she’s already being totally fussy about what she owes me and trying to cut my wages so no fucking way am i going to add more money to that list.
so her daughter suffers. i don’t give a fuck if sadie goes to the library or not.
instead we took flash for a very long walk, and now she is watchng Nick Jr.
i’m just so pissed about all of this. only 15 days of left…and i only have to work for 11 of them.
you can do this sarah!
the ususal flood of question have started…why are you moving, when do you go back to school, are you going to start using again….
i’m ready to punch those condescending bible thumpers.
one girl asked if i was using my problems with my boss as a ‘public’ reason to explain why i’m moving back. i was just like WTF?!
there is no secret and public reason like last time. i’m going back to the states because i do not like my job, and then i am moving to new york city so i can continue with my life. i’ll go back to school eventually, i will not start using drugs again, i will see my sister a lot.
i’m just doing what has to be done, and i just feel like i’m getting dirty looks of disappointment.
BUT, on the flipside….everyone who is asking these annoying questions…i haven’t talked to any of them in months. they aren’t my ‘friends’ just overly concerned busy bodies who want to spread the gossip of offer their useless prayers.
the only thing i’ll miss about this place is sadies adorable face.
shown below…obviously she is fantastic. just shame she had to grow up in this family.
if i ever have kids, i want them to be just like sadie.
ma’am

sadie and i had fun anyways!!!