part two

after alexia accused me of inviting myself i had a mini-nervous breakdown. i wasn’t really sure what to do, where to go or who to call. so i called scott. my highschool sweetheart. scott lives with his ex-grifriend marion, the "replacement" who is actually really cool. so i got to their apt. around 10, marion was ill and scott and i watched a movie.
the next day we got pitas and went to the beach, lake michigan that is.

i haven’t been really in water in a long time. but that day was the perfect time. the waves were high and the temp was perfect.

i took all of my anger, and used it to battle the current.
the biggest weight was removed from my chest.

it was great. i crashed into the waves at all directions. sometimes i let them bring me to shore. other times i just floated as my mini-boat self capsized over and over.
everywave seemed to be something new. my cancer, hannah’s cancer, my friends, my family, my job, my finances. everything was destroyed by me.

i’m going to make going to the beach a habit. i’m far to miserable in this place. i need to go see and do things.

other highlights
seeing an inconvenient truth with scott and marion
don pablos with my favorite psedo therapists (scott and marion)
changing my laugh over time**
marion making me tea in the morning
reading endless pages
sleeping on that couch

**scott and marion always make me laugh. we are just a funny bunch. the first 20 hours i was with them everytime i laughed i almost started to sob. and you could hear it in my throat. i’m amazed i didn’t break down in front of them. but when i left, i was able to laugh, and not want to cry.