out of it

last night i freaked out. for years it has been tradition to go drinking on thursday night. i never skip it. and last night when everyone said they don’t go to the bar anymore i was sad. i have been so paranoid about my friends out-growing me, and replacing me. and it was just devestating that they can just get rid of a tradition and neglect to inform me. i stormed out of there and just sobbed in my car. i didn’t want to go home and i certainly had no where else to go. so i called scott and drove to grand rapids. it was really impulsive but i am so glad i did it. i met his college girlfriend, mariam, and i always detested her because she replaced me, but she is so nice. and obviously i was just being silly and childish.
so scott is at work, mariam is job hunting. and i’m sitting in scotts chair looking at his things. everything about him is the same. he’s just awesome. especially for dealing iwth my freak outs.
i’ve bailed on work and i’m hiding out here for a few days. i

i just can’t handle home.
ma’am