for kicks

i don’t really understand a lot of things, and why they happen. last night was random, and had the least likely outcome.

we’ve done this three times and my feelings still have not come back. that is the proudest thing i can say.

i hate that i always sound so cryptic, but that is sometimes the best way to sound. especially in such complicated matters.

last night after work i came home and got dressed. jayme, jen and i went over to joe and evans. which was crazy. i haven’t seen those kids in forever. and i realized that they are ALOT friendlier when the girls aren’t around.

i saw kunst and she just brushed me off. she really doesn’t like me, and i have accepted that. acceptance does not equal understanding.

the girls and i left with sam, marc and sean. i think i kissed sean.

we went to bluegrass. brooke came over and i acted like a nut. tony, kenny and jason showed up. we decided to leave. i spent the night at jasons, but took sean’s shirt home so i could get the jello shot stains out. wierd.

jason took me home at 8am. i was exhausted. and i don’t know where my nipple rings are. sigh.

i have to get dressed and go to work.

tonight i am hanging out with nicole and we are going to visit jordy. who is moving to florida, forever. 🙁

i could only have casual sex with jason, because i don’t feel sick the next morning. i don’t hate myself, and we have the best pre,during,post sex conversations.

if only i could have that plus more with someone besides him.

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