c’est l’extrémité

my colon is having delayed sympathy pains for sadie. ick. it must me a terrible combination of my allergies, cold and the beer i’ve been drinking tonight. which is now warm. ick, i drank it anyway. thats how us central girls are bred. to drink beer no matter what!!
whew, that did a number on my balance. 😉
sent a few long emails this week, one to katie reid. it was beautifully written. i felt so eloquent and smart. like i was able to translate my thoughts into perfect grammar. haven’t felt that way in a long time. i also had some ‘realizations’ which i was able to express to her. it was a pretty heavy email…we’ll see what the response will be like.
sent scott a long email. i spent all of last night re-reading this from the ‘highschool years’ it all felt pretty ridiculous. and it made me feel really bad for scott. like what the fuck did he get himself into? basically a lifetime of me. wow, how dense could one person be. i wouldn’t wish myself upon anyone. but he’s amazing. after all the drama and utter bullshit i started he’s still there for me. he’s like my brother, since my real brother doesn’t speak to me. he’s everything i need to get it together. i can tell him the truth about my life because i’m not filtering the content. no crushes, no flirting, because that has been lived out and is over. but i tried to tell him all of this, and it didn’t come out nearly as well as it did here. maybe i’ll send him the link. i’m worried about him, i don’t think he’s very happy in GR. and i don’t like that.
it’s also really wierd to write about him in here. it’s been nearly 4 years. i’m turning into such an old hag. jesus!
attempted to reconcile with bill. i still don’t know what went wrong. i have a slight inclination that he knows and is withholding the truth. which could very possibly be along the lines of, ‘ you were a bitch, crushed me and didn’t give a shit.’ which is a very good summary of highschool sarah. as adam and i jokingly refer to me pre fall 2005.
i haven’t had drama in a very long time. and i feel like if i keep my circle of friends small, me, al, mal, jaime, mel and nicole…it will stay that way. i’m not looking for problems and i like what we’ve got going on. fuck new friends! who needs them.
well, i guess British Sarah needs them, but she’ll be over in Winter 2007. The various stages of my life that have turned into whole new personalities. There must be something wrong with me. 😉
tomorrow is going to be the most interesting day yet. Mark is deploying for Afghanistan. and i being a liberal civillian cannot agree. i still think it’s wrong….i’m really sad that he has to go. despite the ‘im the man of the house do what i say’ he’s still a really nice guy. going to ‘hook me up’ with one of his young co-workers.
he’s crazy if he thinks i’ll date someone in the military…but maybe i’m crazy too. it could be fun.
so in addition to Mark’s deployment…Em’s mom and brother are coming to visit from good old America!!! Hurah for the MIDWEST! Yeah!
And did I mention that it’s half term next week? So Em is going to be home all week and so will the girls and her mom and brother. And I don’t have to work. AND i’m getting paid anyway to take her brother out and entertain him. I’m an escort…hehe. he better be hot. thank god he’s a civillian. 😉
the whole deployment thing….makes me so angry at America. these poor people are putting their lives at stake to defend my country. I woudln’t do it, not a chance in hell.
i think i got ‘dumped’ for not putting out. basically things have seemed on the out’s with tim, and Mark said I’m just not easy enough. I almost spit out my beer from laughing. They don’t believe me that I was a slutty slut mc slutterton at home. oh well, i just can’t believe i got dumped for not putting out.
so i am dialing alexia’s number and fuck it up. and just as i am about to redial she gets online. hurah hurah! i had to tell her about my prudeness. heheehehe. i’m so amused. well i’m going to talk to her now. i miss her with a passion.

ma’am