a curious affair
so i finally confronted alexia about everything eating at me. it was a bit of a disaster at first, but everything has more than resolved itself now.
i am no longer working at the casino. i guess i just couldn’t handle the long hours, working third shift and the smoke. my throat still feels scratchy and it has been two weeks.
things with jason are alright. there have been some stupid things. and definately don’t put my full effort into the relationship. too comfortable i guess. i’m not head over heels, i’m just satisfied. i don’t really know how love is supposed to be. but i really care about him.
other than that school is kicking my ass. i wish i just had my degree.
Well, I saw you on the main page! Fancy that. I saw your picture and thought. “Ma’am.” and then realized OH! ONE OF MY FAVORITES ON THE MAIN PAGE!! (First note, by the way). Anyway, good about the friend and the job. *hugs* about school and the boy. You know, even relationships that start out head over heals eventually come to a point where both people just have to work at the commitment and the getting along. You need to try to keep it fun and happy. Satisfied is really a very good place to be. Contented? That is the best thing. *hugs*
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I feel your pain about school. It’s rough sometimes. I am currently spending at least 1 or 2 hours per day on my homework. Good for resolution the friend issue. Sometimes, it’s easy to go the opposite way and it turns out to ONLY be a disaster. And I don’t know what to tell you about what love feels like. My first love was awful. It was so painful and terrible. My current love is great. He drives me up a wall from time to time, but we’re working on it. And he makes me feel goofy/melty inside, sometimes with only the littlest things.
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Man, well, love (romantic love) is so in your face these days. Everything the media and television and movies can stuff in your face, it does. We are not content. And really, that’s the best you can aim for. Not settling, that’s different. Content is a place where you’re not stressed out all the time about stuff. We don’t rest enough. Or contemplate. Music is always on. Something is always thinking for you. *shrugs* And while you’re awfully mature for someone your age, Jason is not necessarily who you’ll be with forever anyway. So, relax. Don’t worry about it right now. It’ll be it or it won’t. *shrugs*
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Hey, I’m not sure anyone knows how love is supposed to be. Some people just get lucky… 🙂 *HUG* I like that saying… I’m keeping it. Heh! Glad you’re out of the casino. Probably adds ten years to your life. All the best to you. I’m sure you two will figure it out if that’s what you want. 🙂 Hang in there. *HUG*
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