Good Question

I’m not really sure how to word the question that is swimming through my mind right now. It’s more of a conflict of feelings that do not know how to equally express themselves because they are normally not used together.  Longing and satisfaction. One leaves you feeling incomplete, like there is something else to be discovered. Something you don’t understand fully. The other insinuates an ending. An ending to a journey and happiness at knowing that it is complete.

I was browsing through my friend’s website (you should check it out because his career is about to take off ) and came across a lot of photographs of his ex-girlfriend Jessica. Not a creepy amount, but  there would be one here and there, mixed in with the rest of his past and seeing those photos is where this mix of emotions came from.

Let me explain why an old photo would have this kind of affect of me. When my entire would was shook up (summer of 2005) I shared an apartment with Jessica. My boyfriend, Josh, was best friends with Marc. They even took on a paper route together (idiots). Marc and Jess started off together that summer, but broke up and got back together more times than any couple I’ve ever known. Most people you would roll your eyes at and tell them to get over it. But not with Marc and Jess. At least not for me. They worked so well together, she complimented him where he was lacking and vice versa. You always knew they would get back together, even they knew it, so there was never a real mourning period when the relationship ended. In fact, it never really "ended" it would just pause. It was frustrating to try and keep up but overall it was a beautiful thing.

But now they have both moved on. And are doing wonderful. He’s a great photographer doing his thing in LA and she’s a normal college student, living her life to the fullest in Oklahoma. They’re both happy with where they are and both have the smiling pictures of good times to prove it.

Which brings me to my question. How do two people who meshed so well, so completely with each other, continue to function and function happily – completely without that other person?

Were they not soul mates? Is there even such a thing? When Josh broke up with me my world was OVER. In fact, Marc and Jess know that better than anybody. Haha. I took the time to figure out who I was on my own, Lyndse without Josh if you will, but in the end of the "seperation" I came to the conclusion that while I was happy with just me I loved him too much to continue without him.

Jessica Simpson’s song "I Belong to Me" talks about how she is ONE not half of TWO. Am I not whole without Josh? Because if that’s true than that means I’m not my own complete person. Which is what I’ve been taught to be my whole life.

Regardless of what questions the situation brings up the final thought is the one that rings true. I think Marc and Jess are longingly satisfied with where they are, even though they aren’t with each other.

Maybe that’s what we should all strive for.

*Love Until Later*