Unearthed

It has been two years since I’ve written in this diary to the day.  I’ve contemplated jotting a small passage down here or there, but for the longest time I’ve really seen no use to this particular artifact anymore.  For the most part it has always been a time waster (or filler to be more optimistic about it).  Now, with my current job situation being of an undemanding nature perhaps I might write down a note here or there in this just for posterity although I don’t think I’ll make a habit of it.  I’ve been doing most of my writing outside the journal now and for the most part it’s going quite well.

Nevertheless, this is an attempt to preserve this piece of my history, this last vestige of a time gone by.  In many instances this is a reminder of the silly world I came from, how much things have changed in me and in the world around me, too.  And also it’s a place for me to still attempt (somewhat poorly) to remain tethered to the life of a good friend of mine. 

Two years.  It seems like it’s been so much longer.  The years have certainly been interesting ones, with their share of pleasures and pains.  I have continued to read and peruse the thoughts and musings of other writers here although I’ve kept mostly quiet now.  For the most part I’m not particularly sure they want to hear my thoughts on the matter anyway…certainly if I don’t agree with them generally.

So what to write today?  What to write about?

Well, diary and you rare obscure reader who happens here, it has been two years since I’ve written here and since then Kristen, the girl from the last entry has come and gone.  Apparently, in two days, it will be the two year anniversary of the day she arrived in Los Angeles and moved into the house I am still living in.  And I’m not sure how many months down the road it will be before the anniversary of when we went our separate ways…sometime in October or November I think, I’ve never been particularly good with dates.  If you were to ask what occurred you would get very different stories depending on who you asked.  I won’t bore with details.  Suffice to say, things did not work out, went rather poorly in the end, and now it’s over for the benefit of all involved. 

Now I’m writing again with a bit more fervor and dedication, I feel more motivated now than I have in quite a long time, which is not particularly surprising to me now that I feel unencumbered by other responsibilities.  I still manage to find time to do all the things I enjoy, too, which is quite remarkable.  And soon I think I may be able to adjust my work schedule so that I can finally be rid of the early morning wake ups which really put a damper on the entirety of my day.  I’ve always been more of an evening person than a morning person so it has been quite problematic to have to wake up at 6am when I also value a good 8 hours of sleep (more often it appears my body just hates the idea of a determined wake up time, I can be rested on 6 hours of sleep as long as I get to choose when I go to bed and when I get up).

I am with someone new and while we have not been together for a very long period of time, things are going very well.  It’s funny how the human mind works, and how wonderful the act of writing is at making a person out to be a fool.  I think it is generally assumed by most who enter into a rocky relationship or who suddenly experience early tumults that perhaps this ship will not reach port but rather be smashed apart by the churning waves and dragged to the bottom never to be heard from again.  But, like the crewmen of such an ill-fated vessel, we grit our teeth and look to the horizon line and think of the great moments we have shared and the sunny islands our ship has carried us to.  Then one day some sea explorer happens upon the air tight chest and recovers the diary archiving in great lengths the perils and pitfalls and wonders what kind of fool would ever get aboard a ship that seemed so doomed.  It is always clear when you know the ending which signs to accept and which to ignore.  Optimism becomes folly when one fails.

But at this moment, on this new ship, the sea is calm and the sun is high.  The wind is at our backs and it is a cool and refreshing one.  There are no issues to report, the vessel is as sea-worthy as any I’ve set foot upon and more so by my estimations.  We are headed in similar directions and may God and fate watch over us and see us safely there.  And if not, may you readers look upon this and perhaps future entries and not be too rash with your estimations of us. 

I will say that despite my sometimes difficult nature, a good many people who I thought by this time would be harsher with me because of what has occurred over the last two years dealing with previous voyages have turned out to be more compassionate and understanding than some would say I deserve.  Of course, in my own mind, that doesn’t happen to be the case, but those of you who know me know that, too.

To all of your futures, may they be as good as mine or better.