The Fallen Lover’s Prayer

So hollow in my heart,

My bones shattered with words and deeds,

Soul twisted round my wretched figure,

Left to rot in this defiled armor,

Which never failed in a million battles,

But failed in life instead.

Sunken eyes with golden glow,

Peer out from my shallow face,

Rasping breath fills the silence,

Unsustaining for my life,

Yet no tears pass from my eyes,

For I have weeped too long.

Upon the lover’s battlefield I lie,

The lonely knight, adorned in roses,

My noble steed skinned and gutted,

All is lost, no life lies near, nor death,

Not even a corpse to lie beside and say

“A friend, a companion lost in the fray!”

But I lie alone in broken silver,

Bloodied til no eyes can see a single sparkle,

My sword broken into shards of sorrow,

My shield destroyed by God’s great hand,

Yet for all the faith I had in him,

He’s left me to die on a single whim.

The fog rolls in and blankets me,

Fills my eyes with darkness so I may dream,

Of the loss of all the chivalry,

That once lied within my very blood,

Long since gone, stripped by circumstance

And never returned again.

Man desires many things,

Money I had in piles stacked beyond the skies,

The glint of heaven you’d think you’d seen

By looking at the gold of this king,

But no satisfaction did I find,

For this was not the desire in my mind.

Goodness I had deep within my heart,

And if I ere’d it was for waste not want,

Sensibility ruled my very soul,

And knowledge commanded my curious mind,

Yet arrogance was there in my tongue,

But little, oh so little, for humility had my voice.

Health was never questioned,

For I was spry and young and strong,

No Adonis but formed well by time,

No sickness consumed me from within,

And no ugliness ruled my temperament,

Yes I had been blessed with many things.

Yet this knight, this pitiful knight,

Desired one thing- – the only thing denied

Him by the powers that rule the heavens,

The love of the angel he adored from afar,

So beautiful in his eyes that her bitter tongue

Could not sting his skin so savagely as she hoped.

Each day I watched and wanted more,

Yet cowardice had seeped its way beneath my skin,

For the words of many other men,

Had made me less than I had hoped to be,

They said I was a waste of time, a waste of life,

And all agreed so I believed.

Many told me I was a fool for believing all their words,

Yet many women I had tried to court had turned away,

Gave me no quarter, no mercy with their foul words,

Shattered my gifts of gold and glass and let my roses rot,

While others used me til my gold ran dry,

Then left me in my house alone to cry.

Such torture I had endured from friends and lovers long since past,

Yet many would thrive on without end,

For family still would remain to save them from their sorrow,

Yet even mine despised their blood for running through

These pitiful veins that lie broken, awaiting death,

My father’s prophecy of failure echoing in my ears.

Cruel fog freeze me now and show mercy!

Let me not lie and think any more about these things,

All my life to watch her, want her and nothing more,

To forsake my sight, my gold, my rank, my everything,

Just to be with her for but a second where she adored

Rather then lashed out with harsh and bitter word.

I can see the stars yet even now,

A single one dashing off to death,

A wish I make upon it with my final breath,

Let someone love her the way I did,

But let her feel the same for him,

For then, oh then, perhaps I’ll smile again.

I know that destiny had me meant for you,

One chance would have but made it true,

For I understand what it means to truly love,

And it can be just from a single glance,

For everything I thought of you still rings true,

Though you try to convince me it is not so.

Now I feel it coming, my breath begins to fade,

Yet I still feel sorrow, no anger runs within,

I could so easily stand and lash out

At all the foolish men who broke me with their words,

Words that ran me through and left me here,

Without hope, without love, left with only tears.

I shall ramble on until the very bitter end,

Perhaps my voice will echo on once I have passed,

An echo that shall sing so softly to her in her dreams,

And calm her fears and soothe her tears,

For if God have love at all for this fallen man,

He will make me an angel guard to watch her when she sleeps.

Funny how beautiful these roses are,

That spring up around this shallow grave,

I’ve seen them a million times before,

But not like this, for they glisten in a crystal red,

Like rubies glinting in the summer sun,

They are my blood, they are my love.

To my love who listens now,

This is the echo of my ghost,

For love has broken even God’s decree,

And left me living to watch over thee,

Though I may never taste your kiss,

To see you is enough for bliss.

And all the sorrow that has filled my life,

All the pain and fear instilled by man,

The words that made me insignificant in my own eyes,

No longer burns my blood and skin,

For I have nothing left to burn, and now I see

What lesson life has for me.

That what made me great was not my rank,

Nor my gold or the acumen that I possessed,

It was the one thing that was never quenched,

What made me great was the love that filled my soul,

The love for you which fills these words,

It was you and you alone who made me great,

All the worse yet better, now, is my ending fate.