Marker Pt. 2
I want to go to the Oracle in the South
In her tiki hut and look in her mouth
For the words that might be sung to make the world come
Down from its high mountain and kneel before me
On the satin pillows I’ve laid for it.
But it won’t come down from the clouds up there where I can’t climb.
I have no pack, no gloves, no boots.
There was a time in my foolish youth
Where that didn’t mean a thing and those rocks would be underneath my palms,
But I know I’d fall back down before I reached the top now,
And I would’ve then, too, just I would’ve tried.
Ain’t it sad to know you’ve died?
Where’s the coffin and where’s the hearse
That will bring me to where my heart is lying
In the plot right next to mine.
I bought them at the start of Time.
I’m not in my room anymore or in my house,
I got on out.
But it doesn’t matter what door I close and what light turns on or turns off,
Everywhere I go the shadows go,
The ghosts do haunt, and the blood does flow.
Red, white, black and these are mixing
In my eyes again.
Happy Anniversary Baby, whereever you are.
I’ve got a million poems to give you, each one made in a second
Of a star’s dying day. I’ve got the cash and the time to spend on you,
And I’m so soft inside that you’d never lose your way: you’d be able to make it.
You’d push on through me and touch my heart without even trying
More than breathing. And I’ve got the romance in me from movies
That I watch to put my mind at ease, perhaps because I’m studying them
To know what makes you smile. I’ve got brains too, and a tongue.
More than many, lot more than some.
And I can use them to tell you things that you’ll never doubt
If you’d just come out.
Wherever you are. Pop goes the weasel and all that jazz,
So that I might find you and stop running running running.
I want some sad-eyed guy to play me in my movie
When I write and direct it, because I don’t want to do it, anymore.
I’ve lived this life before. And I’m not bored, but I don’t think
That a man can tolerate more than once letting his heart sink.
Rock the boat.
And what does all that mean that I just wrote? Well, it means I’m sad and lonely on Monday night at almost 1:00 with two girls in the other room that I’m madly in love with. And it doesn’t matter at all. Because neither of them will ever get around to loving me. Have faith you say. Have faith in what? Time? It’s passing and nothing shown. In God? If he’s there, then he’s ignored prayers that were carried on evaporated pillow tears. Have Faith in me? Look at me. If I am what I am and no victim of a higher deity than all the more pathetic is my visage. Should I love myself? I do. You and most don’t understand.
The fact is I don’t hate me. I hate my life. And ther’es a great great great difference.
So Happy Anniversary,
Through thick and thin I stuck through myself
And not with a dagger or blew my brains with bullets,
I just stuck my hands upon my chest and felt them cave on through.
I’ve gone soft like a peach.
All ripe and tender and juicy now, and oh so sweet.
Too bad that ain’t what the world has a taste for anymore.
The ghost is hiding behind the door and talking with the shadow
About who’ll clean this blood up off the floor.
Happy Anniversary, Baby.
Wherever you are, I hope you hear.
I give you one more year.
That’s all I’ve got before the ghost and the shadow
And the closing door locks forever, and the blood upon the floor
Flows out and you won’t hear me anymore.
*HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG**HUG*
Warning Comment
your notes make me happy. I think you should read Francesca Lia Block’s “The Rose and the Beast”. it’ll make stoned shimmer and sidewalks shift and you’ll probably feel awakened and peaceful, which is what I feel like you need right now. aaaanyway. your name isn’t micheal wilson, is it? because that’d be funny. yours,
Warning Comment
Have faith you say. Have faith in what? Time? It’s passing and nothing shown.(AH, but if you watch a clock, does time not pass slower?) In God? If he’s there, then he’s ignored prayers that were carried on evaporated pillow tears. (well, I don’t believe in God as many do. but have you ever heard that the best prayer sometimes goes unanswered? maybe you’re asking for the wrong thing ..) Have
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Faith in Me? Look at me. If I am what I am and no victim of a higher deity than all the more pathetic is my visage (You should have faith in youself…especially if you’re not the victim of a deity, then you shape your own destiny..and if you don’t have faith in yourself, who’s going to do it for you?) I know you’re having alot of trouble..and I’m sorry for that. I hope you get through it okay
Warning Comment
and you come out stronger. And there isn’t much else I can say except that, whatever it’s worth from a distance, I’m here for ya.
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holy sh*t f*ck, i totally forgot!! i haven’t got tix yet, when do you want me to come, i can’t on monday, thurs or sat… well i have to go de-stinkify myself so i can start working my 41 hours this weekend. hope you feel better soon! luv ya Chel
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Dude this page is really wide. What the crap. You gotta tell me when it is before I can tell ya if I’m comin’!! And Don’t touch the Cosby Show!!! grrr…..
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wtf mate? you hate me or somethin? you totally blew me off this mornin!! you walked like 2 feet in front of me, and i’m like, hey, hi brad, brad, hi, hi brad-BRAD!! but you just kept on walkin… heheh, i know you’re really busy right now, and prolly werent’ payin attention, or God hates me and is stealing my voice back so i’ll shut up… hmm, lets think about that. luv ya (i aint mad) nik
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it was fun talkin to you today… havent seen you in like 4ever!! but i understand that your super busy, and i work constantly!! See ya either 2nite or 2morrow luv ya Nik
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