It’s Like Geeky Masturbation

That’s really true now that I think about it…or snobbish masturbation, or avant garde masturbation.  It’s called writing in here.  Yes, writing in here is avante garde masturbation.  It profits me only pleasure, it helps no one (though I hear its as high in protein), and it hurts my wrists.  Maybe I should give up REAL masturbation and then that wouldn’t be the case.  Ha.  Like that would ever happen.  Ha.  Like I NEED to masturbate.  Ha.  I’m the pimp of my house…..

That’s right, I just said it.  And not just me, but my roommates, too…and not just the gay ones…….

And like masturbation with the door unlocked I can see where this is going…into awkward territory but I just don’t stop.  YAY!  There goes the rest of my reader out the door (that was not a typo.)

I’m bored.  I’m at work.  I fulfill my duties now in three hours a day, if even that.  I get to check my email about seven times, check aintitcool.com, movies.go.com, yahoo.com, here, idolonfox.com if I’m desperate, nuklearpower.com, and other sites as I spend my day waiting for things to do because everyone else is SLOW!!

So I was thinking about getting myspace for the networking, but I guess I just don’t know anymore.  I wonder if it’s worth the trouble to get the stalker-sites of the net.  Sure, everybody is getting on them and I’ve perused once and saw a lot of old people I could rekindle friendships with and chat with…but you know what, for once I don’t want to invest myself in these people.  They’re really not worth it.  And I mean that, finally.  It feels like a breath of fresh air to finally call people worthless, since I’ve spent a great deal of my life pursuing these same friendships, stoking the coals and scrabbling at the dying embers of former flings, flames, and friends.  But why bother?  They can contact me for once…I suppose joining myspace would make it easy….I suppose…we’ll see….if it helps me network with people out here than I’m all for it.

I finally managed to ge a hold of Jennie Schrottky the other day.  On Easter no less.  It was a nice conversation we had and she’s going to come out and visit, which makes me happy.  I’m a little bothered by the fact that she was off living her life and that just plain living a life was all that really stopped her from contacting me, but that’s the way it’s been with a lot of people.  There comes a time when you have to choose whether a person is important enough to keep around or to cut loose…and you know what, I’d be a lot less pissed off if people just made the decision.  Instead, they’re apathetic and it all goes away.

I don’t know why I’m writing this, I suppose it’s to fulfill this anger in me and to hopefully avante-masturbate away some of my aggression, since I’m not an angry person in general, but I have very delineated ideas about what is wrong and what is right, what is decent and what is lazy.  I think most people are lazy, selfish, and self-absorbed without good reason…I begrudge no one their melodrama as long as they do not believe that the situations they blow out of proportions are not really as big as they say they are….I begrudge no one their life, as long as they remember that everyone has one and if they deserve to be a part of other people’s lives, then they must let others be a part of theirs….I begrudge no one their self-pity, self loathing, self-obsession, or self-absorption as long they keep them to themselves….because, in my world, when you bring something out for all to see, you must be ready to have everything compared to others.

Annnnyyyyway.  It’s time for me to leave the office and I might just post when I get home…maybe I won’t.

By the way, just finished Faulkner’s "As I Lay Dying," it was quite good in my opinion.  I still haven’t finished "A Fable."  That book is as dense as the people I deal with on customer service.