I Need to be Institutionalized
Ok…last one for today……man oh man, another survey about relationships…my favorite subject.
1) How long have you been single? Since January 1st
2) How many, if any, exs do you have? 3
3) Do your friends who are dating tell you how lucky you are because being single is so much better? No.
4) If yes to the last question, does that make you want to choke them? I didn’t answer yes, but if they said it I would.
5) Do you feel free and empowered when single, or depressed and ugly? Not ugly, but depressed. Hey…are you calling me ugly?
6) Do you flirt normally? Yes, a lot in fact, fat lot o’ good it does.
7) Do you feel as if you should be dating? ABSOLUTELY! I mean HELLO! I’m an arrogant bastard, what do you think?
8) What things can you do more of now than when you were dating? Sit alone and pout? Feel sorry for myself? Buy things for myself which I don’t do anyway? Nothing worth a shit.
9) Have you ever tried blind dating? No….nobody ever offers to set me up.
10) Ever tried personal ads of any type to find a mate? Ok, I’m not that desperate yet, or maybe I should be.
11) Does your mother try to set you up on dates? Yes, with the girl who sells strawberries, sort of. They point out cute girls.
12) Do you plan on ever getting married? I do, I’m not sure anyone plans on marrying me.
13) What are the pros of being single? Pros of being single? I have the greatest relationships on the planet once they’ve started. I believe you shouldn’t change what you do because you’re dating. Yes, I invite them everywhere, but I won’t stop seeing other female friends, not that it matters since they don’t care about even bothering to see me. So basically, I’m the perfect mate cuz you don’t have to worry about anyone stealing me…no one wants me.
14) Do you find there is more time for your friends and family when you are single? I don’t have friends, but sadly, yes for the family.
15) Do your friends ever pressure you to date? Read the above one, but my few acquaintances don’t say much, they just sympathize.