Here Again

It’s a new chapter in the Thomas Wolfe novel of my life. Embarking when? Very soon. I hate saying that. Soon. It sound’s indefinite and lazy. And right now that’s the last thing I want to be. I’m not that. I just also don’t want to sound at all like it.

I watched the movie “Crash” again tonight. It’s an amazing movie, on par with “Heat” and “21 Grams.” I feel it is more moving than either of the former and incredibly well written, directed, acted, and shot. It’s so deeply moving, so wonderful, while watching it all I wanted more than the moment of watching it was to have Kate’s hand to squeeze at what I felt was important, so I wasn’t alone in the world not sharing the amazing moment of watching “Crash.” But sadly, she is in Europe, and despite what people believe, my arms are not that long.

I was reading an essay written by Roger Ebert about the film, really more an argument for its greatness and a rebuttle to two or three critics who tried to argue that it was the worst movie of the year. What I think is remarkable is that most critics list it in the top five and a few list it as the worst and the few seem to believe they are the honest critics while the rest are not. They are further wrong just because their arguments clearly indicate their ignorance of both the movie’s message and its intentions. Of course, it’s difficult to discuss intentions of a movie, because I believe the best way to analyze what a movie means is by what people take away from it. There will always be people offended by any movie, so that causes difficulty with my former opinion, but oh well.

You should go read Ebert’s critique, because it is accurate and argues major points that I do believe he is in the right upon. One opposer says that the movie empathizes with Sandra Bullock’s racism, which is not true, since the clearer victim and empathetic character is actually the one she is most racist against…so the opposer is wrong. An opposer also argues that the movie fights against racism, which “everyone already knows is wrong except Neo-Nazis.” I think that is a grossly wrong assumption. Not to mention the movie is more than just about blatant racism, it is about subtle racism, it is about the pros of racism, and it is about something greater than racism altogether.

I think Paul Haggis wanted to talk about racism. What I think he really addressed, in a profound and perhaps completely accidental way, is the selfishness of people. The way they close themselves off from each other, how when something bad happens to someone, it turns them on themselves, how it makes them do bad things to others in a viscious cycle that can only end when they wake up and do something good again. Watch the movie and see how something bad affecting one person affects them enough to do something awful to someone else, and how doing something good (generally) leads to forgiveness or salvation. There are exceptions to this rule in all movies, and these exceptions are the ultimate tragedies of the movie. But watch how even the ultimate tragedies aren’t guiltless of doing the wrong thing for personal interests…perhaps unselfish, but still personal and wrong. A lot of people fresh off the “Hotel Rwanda” high — a deserved high — have looked at Don Cheadle’s character as exemplary, but I believe he is as flawed as the rest of the characters, save Michael Pena, who is without flaw and the most touching and powerful character in the movie….though Matt Dillon’s car scene haunts me every time I watch it.

Where am I going with this entry. No where really. I’m just writing. I wanted to drift over to writing more of my novel or a screenplay or anything of merit, but unfortunately, I’m at the down-end of energy simply due to the sad news that a good friend of mine has fallen prey to loserdom. Where did I go wrong fostering in him some sort of energy? Oh well.

You find yourself colored by the people you choose to love the most, and that disturbs me, because I generally pick lost causes, hopeless wrecks, and sometimes the mentally deranged. But I always treat each new person like an exception to the rule. Oh how hope can let you down.

Good night.