Chapter XXXVIII: Shadows (Cont. IV)
The ripple blasted them apart, the two shooting across the room from each other as they tried not to have looked as close as they were, but Adelia had seen it. She stared at the two for a moment, her eyes shifting once more. Blackheart could see the dying of the light. She swallowed as Samden and Eza entered, Deira and Tuzel remaining outside. Adelia glanced at them all. “Baen has all the pieces. We have to go back to Azurat to get him. To do that, we’ll have to go through the gateway and battle dangerous demons to reach the gateway. The others are waiting.”
“We’re coming, too.” Deira said, stepping into the room. Samden opened his mouth, but Deira’s stance shut him up. He looked pleadingly to Adelia.
“No. The more we bring who are thaumaturgically inclined, the more that we will have to deal with. We thank you for your help, but Samden comes and the two of you remain.” Deira opened her mouth, “There is no room for argument.” It was a tone that no one had ever heard before, at least not from Adelia. It would have shattered mountains. “Say your goodbyes and head on your way. There are a great many things that have yet to be done, and we can’t waste any more time,” she shot a glance at Blackheart and then stepped to the side, holding out her hand for the group to pass through. Eza fluttered for a moment, partially confused, but then flew through, the snap that followed echoing through the chamber as Laura glanced over at Blackheart and then stepped through herself.
“Samden, say goodbye outside,” Blackheart said, trying to catch Adelia’s eyes. Samden nodded and stepped outside.
“I have nothing to say to you, Blackheart.”
“Yeah, well I have something to say to you. I don’t love you. I’m in love with Laura…I know it isn’t fair, I know it isn’t what you would have liked, but we’re not even the same race.”
“Is that what this is all about?”
“NO! It’s just another reason! Sometimes people look at another race and it’s the fact that they are so different that whatever spark there may have been, it dies. It’s not saying that either race is inferior or either race is less-worthy of love, it’s just a fact!”
“I don’t want to have this conversation all right? I didn’t love you, I just felt a bond….”
“Then why are you taking this so hard? If it was just a bond, we can still keep it…..”
“No! No!” Adelia sighed, sitting down, trying to think of what to say. Why was it that this conversation wasn’t going as eloquently as she had hoped. “Maybe I did fall for you, maybe I was partially infatuated with you. Maybe it was your strength or your looks, certainly not your charm, but I just……I’ve been alone for so long.”
“I have, too, babe. I have, too.” Blackheart walked over to her and set his hand on her shoulder, she shrugged it off.
“Don’t touch me right now.” She glanced up at Blackheart, “I don’t trust her you know.”
“You can see into the future, Adelia. You probably just felt this moment coming.” Adelia turned so that she couldn’t see Blackheart. She wasn’t sure what she was feeling or what was happening. Everything was falling down all around her. “Can we please just get on with this?”
Blackheart watched her for a moment, “I didn’t want to hurt you….but sometimes you can’t avoid pain.” Blackheart wanted to say more, but there was nothing more that would do any good. He turned and marched towards the portal and stepped through.
Adelia sighed, wiping the tears from her eyes, the voice of Baen had faded away as well. Even he was abandoning her. All who had been in her life had turned out to be nothing more than shadows, nothing more than passing ghosts staying with her for only a moment before everything went back to the way it was. “Why? Is this your great plan? Why me!? You choose this life for me, this life of loneliness! WHY!?” She rose to her feet, screaming now at the portal and the entire room. “You banish him by whims, you cast some of us aside and you shine so brightly on others! Why? What makes me different!? Why do you hate me?!” She collapsed onto her knees, panting and wiping the tears away from her eyes. “Am I to suffer alone?”
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Samden stood in the snow, staring down at the ledge below where Tuzel sat on a large rock staring out into space, tracing his sword through the fluffy snow, his red ponytail fluttering in the wind. Deira stood behind him with her arms crossed, waiting for him to say something. Finally, he coughed. “I’m sorry you can’t come with.”
“No you’re not. Don’t lie to me.”
Samden turned, “Fine. I’m glad you can’t come with me, all right! But it’s not because I hate you Deira, it’s because I love you too much. You’re going to get yourself hurt, possibly killed! I can’t let you do that….I won’t let you walk into a deathtrap. This is my road, no one elses.”
“This isn’t your road, Samden! Why!? Why did you volunteer to come back here with these people? Why are you forcing yourself on? Why!?”
“Because that is my destiny. It’s what my father wanted so badly for me: to be a hero. I won’t disappoint him. He means so much to me and he’s dying, Deira. I can see it in his eyes, he and mother are dying and I can’t let them die without proving to them that all the time and love they invested didn’t pay off.”
“They don’t want you to die, though, Samden!”
“Well, sometimes we must pay a price to prove ourselves.”
“I don’t understand you,” Deira replied, turning and staring out into the dancing snow.
“And that’s exactly why you can’t come with me. If you understood, perhaps I might let you come. But you don’t know what it means….you don’t know what will happen to us. You still think its all a game like we used to play when we were young….fighting and pretending and always winning. Well people lose. Good people lose all the time. And they die. And I might die, but if I can help it, you won’t.”