Backburners

"I’m falling in love with you.  You can turn and run now if you like.  But you better run fast, cuz I’m comin’ for you."

It’s been a long god damn day.  It’s been a stressful day.  There’s been nowhere to really turn to not get hit and those are the days that are the hardest to get through, especially when you’ve let yourself get soft.  You fight for a long time, tooth and nail, hand and fist, and drag yourself kicking and screaming and bloody into a place where you think there is peace…but there’s just another fight.  You know what though?  That’s life.  That’s the best part of life.  Fighting for things.  It’s not having them and it being easy and relaxed.  It’s fighting.  It’s getting sore and aching and hurting and knowing that you’ll do it again because others wouldn’t.  That’s what it is.

And there’s no waiting to fight.  It behooves nothing.

She’s sweet like blondes are.  She’s sweeter than any girl I’ve known when she says "I love you" and looks at me with caring eyes and wants me to feel good and I feel good.  I FEEL it.

She’s sharp like blue eyes are.  When she looks at you you don’t peel away, there’s nothing to peel, there’s only one level and that is All, Everything, Truth, Wonder. 

She’s soft like smooth white skin, like cream.  And touching her is feeling something that lulls you and calms you and settles you and when you close your eyes while you can feel the pressure of something perfect fittiing into your arms, you feel nothing at all at the exact same time.

She’s seductive like thick lips and subtle glances.  And when she gives them you are driven like a nail through a board, piercing the grain, breaking the line of rigidity and holding you fast.

And giving her everything is nothing because its’ giving her back to herself because she is everything and you without her is nothing and that’s what it really means…it’s the meaning of the word love, the word want, the word desire, the word need….

And every promise and every word I’ve ever uttered before is worthless and meaningless and stupid compared to the ones I say now and think now and feel now in a language I don’t even really understand coarsing beneath me and I can’t let go of it.  I WON’T let go of it.   I have wanted to be the greatest man that ever was and I have fought for it in every way I could and sometimes I lost and gave up pieces and you are the one who made me feel like rekindling it all.  Another part is burning.  And that part is the part that says FIGHT. 

 God damn it, now I’m the man you demanded and there’s NOBODY but me on this planet that deserves you more and nobody on this planet who will be as good as I am and I’m not going to let you go and I’m not going to let you fall and I’m not letting you give up and I will carry you across every finish line you’re too tired to make on your own and I will say "Reach" and lift you to your dreams and absolutely everything will be yours that you want because I won’t settle for less — I’m that dreamt up guy in the film who is being amazing because of someone.  And that someone is you.  What else is there to say?