Writings…

I’ve been rather down lately. (Part of the reason why is in <—- that entry.)

We went to FL on vacation a few weeks ago. We were there June 23-28. Some friends of ours (a couple) from here went with us and we had a blast with them. We went to the beach, to Sea World, and to Disney with them.

The morning we were supposed to drive down I woke up with a toothache. Actually, it kept me awake most of the night. I visited a dentist while there and I had wanted to have the tooth pulled… But the novocaine could send me into preterm labor, so I opted for a round of antibiotics and some mild pain relief. By the last day we were in town I was able to half-assed enjoy my birthday cake…

Daytona was beautiful the day we went. I had never seen the water so clear there. We drove on the beach, walked down to the pier, sat in the sun, enjoyed the water. It was a heavenly day. Finished the day with dinner at Joe’s Crab Shack. Everyone feasted on crab legs while I nibbled on some crab cakes… Stupid tooth!

Sea World was so much fun. We saw the Shamu show and the dolphin show… which had more birds in it that dolphins but whatever! It was really hot that day, but still a great day. We had dinner that night at Gator’s Dockside and Jess & Adam got to try gator tail for the first time. We had really good food that night… If only I had been able to chew!

We got to Disney around 3 on Friday. We stayed at the park (Magic Kingdom) till close, but it was just not enough time to see everything! We rode a few rides, and got our pictures with Mickey & Minnie. We did see the fireworks though. That was one of the first things Danny & I did as a couple back on 2007. The fireworks there are definitely a romantic thing for us! It brought back some very fond memories.

Saturday Jess & Adam went to Cocoa to go fishing and Danny & I went to spend the day with my family. My mom was having a birthday party for me that day and my BFF was supposed to some over for a baby shower that she was planning with some of her friends. Well… mom had all kinds of food for everyone, and alcohol for those who wanted to drink. (Saturday her house turn into the party house anyways… basically my "birthday party" was her typical Saturday night party.) My BFF texted me a Happy Birthday at around 6 that evening. Then she put on Facebook that she was going downtown that night, after going and getting smashed there the night before.

Yup, she stood me up. Nice, huh? I ended up crying on my birthday, at my "party". At least my mom tried. She made dinner for me and had a birthday cake for me. Alaine didn’t even fucking call me. I started crying when I was sitting in the kitchen, alone, eating my birthday cake. Everyone else was already drunk at that point. My sister went and told my mom and she came in and apologized to me. At that point I just wanted to leave. I was tired, and hormonal, and just done with everything.

I never did see my friend while we were there. We had to leave the next morning. The time we spent with our friends on this vacation was so much better than the time we spent with my family. Stinks…

So, the whole "getting stood up by my BFF" deal kinda sent me into a mild depression the last few weeks. That combined with Danny being gone for so long… I just feel so very, very alone right now. And I’m getting very nervous about being alone in the coming weeks. Big things are coming, and I’m going to have to put on my big girl panties and deal with them all by myself.

I am scared…