Little Girl

She’s been thumping around in there for a few weeks now. Well, just a few minutes ago she was having a field day in there. I pressed my hand on my belly, and felt it from the outside! Wow… so cool!

I just wish Danny had been here to feel it. He went back to NY today. Bummer. But he’ll be home again on (I think) Wednesday of next week. Yay! And he’s got his name in for 3 positions at home that he’s very well qualified for. Ooooh, it’s so exciting!

 So… I guess the in-laws want to have a baby shower for me. Which I was totally not expecting. But, they tell Danny that we should lay off of buying "the big stuff" until after the shower. But they don’t want to have the shower until August. I was really hoping to have my nursery all set up no later than the beginning of August. I told Danny to put a bug in their ear that I’d really prefer it to be done in July. I just want to be prepared in case she comes early. Because I’m overweight I’m scared of complications, ya know?

Speaking of the in-laws, I guess they’re kind of hurt that I don’t really call them or come around when Danny’s not with me. Well, I’m just not comfortable around people I guess. My family has always excluded ourselves from everyone else. The only people we had to depend on were each other, it’s kinda hard to get out of that habit. It’s not that I don’t like his family, I really do love them. I just have trouble opening up to people. Even people at work comment on how I just stay to myself. I only have a few close friends. And none of them are here. They’re all friends I’ve had for years! I guess I’m just kind of a recluse…

And I think that’s why I have a hard time writing in here sometimes too. I don’t want to be judged harshly, I don’t want to open myself up to being hurt or ridiculed. It’s easier to just keep to myself. But I think I really need to come here more and open up more. This can be kind of like my therapy. If I can get comfortable opening up here then it may be easier in the real world…

I need to try to write something everyday. Even if it’s boring crap about working and taking care of my cats. Just something to put myself out there. ya know?

Well, I’m gonna go enjoy a piece of Oreo cake and then head on to bed… Nite!