This Entry Will Disappoint You
Sucker.
Oh man I was so tempted to just leave it after that first word. But no. NO. I will go on. Why? Because I like the sound of my own…. keyboard. Which, I might add, could use a little bit of maintenance. I have to use the key on my numerical keypad in order to do a line break. Ah well. The trials and tribulations of life as me. At least the important keys still work: W, T, F…
Welp, I’m going to go see where my last entry left off.
Ah yes, an addendum. I discovered, after extensive testing, that “Friends” had been moved to “Bookmarks” for some completely unintuitive reason. So I guess technically I don’t hate the new “Friends” layout, I just hate the labelling of the words. Frikkin’ swap that shit, yo! Or, I dunno. Christ. Things would be a lot better if people would only defer to my reasoning. Unfortunately their failure to defer to my reasoning is reason for their failure to defer to my reasoning… I think. Yeah, that’s it. Probably.
Yes. So let’s get work out of the way first. Oh Christ I have a feeling this is gonna be a long one. I should really be going to bed right now… but I’ll get to that momentarily. So work. Work itself is good. We’ve introduced what may possibly be the most ridiculous promotion in Canada (with the exception of the “chug a gallon of milk and drink for free” competition – note: not our bar) right in the middle of the week. We draw a ridiculous crowd. Sometimes the lineup goes right down the block, around the corner, and stops at the next nearest club. It’s busy but the tips, oh God the tips… I usually make somewhere between $40 and $60 an hour on those nights. Wow I just did the math and even on shitty nights I make about $35 an hour, except for Thursdays.
Fuck Thursdays.
Also, due to the 2010 Winter Olympics (you know, the lame version of the Summer Olympics?) coming to our city, we’re prettying everything up and crossing all our I’s and dotting all our T’s. Consequently, all workers in anything security-related, from bodyguards to fucking locksmiths (seriously, locksmiths?) have to do training and pay for a security worker’s license. At the end of it all, it generally comes out to somewhere between $300 and $500 in fees. I paid like, hmm let’s see, $35 for fingerprinting, $60 for the temporary license, $150 for the course, and $120 for the final license. All-in-all that comes out to a math problem.
It lasts for one week and goes from 7:00-9:00PM Monday-Friday, and Saturday-Sunday the hours are different and I dunno I’ll figure out what they are eventually. Those times are pretty sweet considering I generally start my shifts somewhere between 7 and 9. F yeah.
So, how about life. Well, my quest for ever-increasing awesomeness continues. After roughly a 1-year layoff and a 6-month struggle to return to regular gym attendance, I’ve found a new, decent gym that’s actually less than an hour away. So I shall be going there with regularity. Also with my income I won’t have any problem purchasing what I need to with regards to food (by this of course I mean basically a shitload of eggs, steak, and milk. Perhaps the occasional bagel with peanut butter. Who said dieting sucks?)
I have also come to realize that my memory totally sucks balls. This could possibly be related to my massive pot consumption over the last 7 or 8 months but I’ll never tell. In any case I’ve taken to reading voraciously in the hopes of improving my memory encoding/retrieval skills. Also, I will be applying my recently-learned conscientious study-methods to my security worker’s training as a test. My memory comprehension still sucks but once I’ve transferred it from short- to long-term memory my retrieval skills are, to put it simply, badass. Like every minute of the movie Commando. Hey did you know Stallone shoots down three choppers in Rambo 3? Seriously three fucking choppers what the fuck!?
K. Anyway. So what have I been reading? Well, to start with I read a few Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels which I may have discussed earlier – Name of the Wind is one (pleasegetthesequeloutnowgoddamnitI’vebeenwaitingwaytoolongfuckyouPatrickRothfussfuckyou), On is another that was absolutely fan-fucking-tastic. I mean, its storyline was, get this, ORIGINAL. Yes that’s right, it was a new and innovative idea. Holy shit. I thought those went out of style sometime in ’06 or ’07. I also read a bunch of Jim Butcher (Harry Dresden. Wizard.) except his over-the-top writing style got on my nerves something like 6 or 7 books in and I didn’t finish the series.
Meh.
I then stumbled, quite randomly (“God DAMN I am sick of the sci-fi section. But I still have half an hour until work. Time to wander around aimlessly!”) stumbled upon a book called Confessions of an Economic Hitman. It was fucking fascinating and now I’m really interested in pursuing some reading in political science, but not until I finish How The Mind Works by Steve Pinker. Fucking great book full of mind-twisting thought experiments. Unfortunately, it’s full of mind-twisting thought experiments and that coupled with my lackluster reading comprehension means the first 100 pages took me about 5 hours of reading to finish. Then there’s Blink, which I really want to pursue shortly after HTMW, but not until I read HTMW a second time. Then, then I might start reading about poli-sci except that book The Black Hole War is engrossing. As. Fuck.
I really gotta stop browsing Chapters before I go to work.
What else what else. Oh yeah. Interesting things on the girl front. Several girls have been acting ridiculously flirty towards me the past oh… month or so? No idea what spurred this but it’s really quite inconvenient because unless the girl in question is so ridiculously awesome as to be more awesome than my attempts at self-awesomeness, I’m not interested. I don’t have the time! I only have like 10 more years to basically become a swoler version of James Bond. Sorry girls I got shit to do.
Which reminds me of two completely unrelated things. First, I really want to buy a car. It would make getting to/from the gym way way easier (so many stairs on the skytrain… WHY. I KNOW YOU DO THIS TO TORTURE ME though I guess I could use the elevator but seriously someone my age using an elevator for one story, that’s a fucking no-go) and also carrying the mass quantities of groceries that I will consume on a day-to-day basis. Plus laundry. Yeah using public transit to do your laundry is the epitome of shit. It’s only like 3 stops but seriously. Scrubville, population: Me.
The second is holy shit first quarter of 2010 is videogame heaven. Motherfuckin’ Aliens vs Predator 3 and Bad Company 2 both coming out soon (AvP3 comes out 8 days after my birthday. Hmm. Gonna have to book that week off oh FUCK the Olympics GOD DAMNIT) means I gotta upgrade my PC… $800. I’ve been trying to convince myself that I should save the $800 until after the Olympics where I will be filthy rich (by my standards… not saying much) such that I shall be able to purchase my vehicle, which will increase my options and flexibility for employment, allowing me to make more money.
On the other hand, $800 is a small price to pay for months of headshotting noobs. In fact, I dare say the headshot of a noob is priceless. If a sneeze is 1/10 an orgasm, that little animation where their head snaps back is easily two sneezes. Three if you knife someone.
Hmm. I seem to have digressed. Some things never change. So anyway, I want to buy a car but I’m not sure what. A friend of mine purchased a Nissan Altima (forget what year, I think it was the 2009 though) and it’s fucking awesome. No speed governor! 0-60 in 8 or 9 seconds! By contrast most cars of comparable make are doing it in like 12. On the other hand, I don’t want to buy the same car as him because like, what if we both took the same car to a party? That would be like, omg, so awk-warrrrrrrrrd.
Seriously though I’m not sure I can think of any vehicles with comparable price-to-performance ratio. Then again, my search has been somewhat half-hearted. Anyway it’s 3:16 am and I have to clean, shop, workout, study, learn, and work tomorrow. So I shall go.