understand.

i don’t think she could possibly understand.

my cell phone vibrates against my leg.
my heart skips at the possibility of
looking down and seeing her words
her love, all that keeps me going.

but, the words of love are shattered by worry.
something is wrong, something is hurting her.
my hands quiver, my knees shake
i hold my breath to keep from crying.

i don’t think she could possibly understand
how her pain is so much my own.
the slightest thing sends me into another world
and i can’t concentrate
and i can’t think
and my eyes fill with tears
and i have to tell people that it’s just the cold.

i don’t think she could possibly understand
that my stomach knots and contracts,
that my body aches with worry.
i don’t think she could possibly understand
that i’m down here with tears pouring
on to the keyboard because she’s upstairs
and i can’t help.

i hurt when she hurts.
even the slightest of her pain,
i feel all over.