Updates!

Aaaah! It has been a stupidly long time! 
So much to add and update now! 
Me and Alan are now together. For good, It’s so fabulous! 
Things are perfect and i honestly don’t think I could ask for any more of him! 

I had an interveiw yesterday for a position in a care home,
I’ve pretty much bagged the job. Be another 2-3 weeks til i can officially start anything though unfortunatly due to CRB checks etc.
It’s fantastic! I still havent passed my driving test after a 2nd go.
How awful!!! 
Although, The 2nd time i did have swine flu, and i almost certainly have passed it onto the examiner 😉
Mwuhahaha! 

But, I got over that spout of swine flu and am ok now 🙂 🙂
Honestly do not think i have ever been so bored led in bed though! Took me a couple of days to recover from the amount of sleep i was getting! 
Haha! 

Alan told me he loved me yesterday for the first time.
It was perfect,
He whispered it into my ear. And i wasn’t surprised, or scared, or uncertain. My immediate response was "I Love You Too"
And more importantly, It felt right.
I think with this relationship, what i’ve learnt is that human beings are so varied and different, that surely people cannot follow books telling you that if someone isnt acting a certain way, then surely they dont like you.
Follow your instincts.
If my instincts were telling me he did not like me. and i honestly believed they were 100% true. I would have given up.
However, they were telling me that he did not like me, but there was a hint of doubt, represented by his actions.
So i kept on going. I felt it was a risk worth taking, and do you know what? It certainly was.
Tom is out of my life now, It sounds bad, but it’s not.
Usually i stay good friends with ex’s But this is where im growing up.
In the real world, the big, bad world. You cannot stay friends with ex’s.
Not because its not the "done thing" But merely because it is difficult for both parties.
I chose to break up with him because we weren’t working. and i wasn’t happy, So why would i want to stay friends if we can’t even have a simple conversation without "im in love with you" cropping up.
It’s much easier to break the whole thing off.

As for the hot musician.
Thats gone now too.
I love alan, and i want no-one and nothing else.
If im ever in town, i never want to talk to or even look at another guy. What would the point be?
That would be relationship suicide, and it is not something on my to-do list.

So this is it, This is "Love".

And yes it might be great and all lovey dovey.
But the bad points come with it too.
He was looking me up on google.
And discovered my myspace.
So i found his, and found his ex….
I didnt want to really, But just looking through her profile I could immediatly see why they were together.
They have so much in common it’s stupid.
I was taken aback and forced to think about "Why is he with me?"

She’s beautiful, and likes everything he does.
Me and him are totally different….
But for now, it’s working.
I guess the whole "things in common" 
Are only superficial requirements for establishing a liking for someone, then after that it’s beside the point whether you have anything in common or not.
On a long term front.

But we work well, I laugh all the time, we kiss and cuddle, and we miss each other insanely,
Im just hoping this isnt the "honey moon period" Late arrival as we didnt have this in the beginning…

Honestly, I care about this boy so much. I’m just worried im going to lose it.
I certainly dont want to.
I recently won £80 on Ladbrokes aswell, thought that was a bit of an acheivement! 
It certainly helps towards paying the fine i got landed with for being abusive to police officers in town one night! 
haha! 
Oh dear.
Tata for now anyway good people. 🙂 🙂 🙂