Anything, Anything At All

Is what this is.
anything that comes to mind. I shall ramble on….
WARNING:- this will be long, so if ya fancy to read, then continue 🙂

Earlier, I flipped. I returned home from work to everyone just arguing…
its the Summer Solstice tomorrow or something. well early Sunday morning… The gathering is at Stonehenge as per. and my younger sister wants to go.
I’m convinced its where kids my age go, to get off their faces on drugs and booze and have a rave… or something. so I’m against the idea of the family going… to sit on some rocks or something. and wait until like 4am for the sun to rise, then get up and go home. WHAT THE FUCK? I watch the sun rise most mornings, I listen to the birds and I watch it set some nights as I’m walking home from work. because these people take it for granted the SUMMER SOLSTICE is sounding like its the first time the sun setsssss!!! arrrghh someone explain the real meaning of this.. or shall I wiki it?

So whilst this argument was occurring, my older sister (by eleven months) was raring in my fathers’ face for some money to "go out"
what?
I’m sorry, she’s just applied for benefits, and is trying to get a place in a hostel. because she cant handle being at home anymore?
I WORK MY ARSE OFF, I COME HOME, SOMETIMES CLEAN THE FUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE! COOK THE DINNER, PUT MOTHER TO BED! TRY MY BEST TO AVOID ASKING FATHER FOR MONEY…AND SHE! SHE! wants to move out? she has everything handed to her on a plate. she has zero life skills, and.. aarrrgggh what is going on?!
So I flicked some ommelette off my fork into her hair… i thought that was a reasonable way to react rather than forking her eye?
she proceeded to behave like a ten year old… so did i. i threw a chip at her and she stormed off.
this was totally immature, but it lightened the situation as i usually react by either hitting her or breaking something… by this point my blood was boiling at her ignorance and rudeness and ungratefulness!

THEN MY MOTHER SWALTZ INTO THE KITCHEN (oh it’s allll happening now) "I WANT TO GO OUT TONIGHHTTTTTTTT! I WANT TO GO OUTTT! IVE JUST GOTTEN READY!!"
Glaring at me…tears welling in her eyes, as she holds a cup of cider in her hand…
Bearing in mind. i had NO intention of going anywhere tonight, i bought a movie after work (Hes just NOT that into you) i needed some romantic thing.
This time… i flipped. Here we go… I stood up, launched my plate of food from the kitchen table into the sink. with an almighty CRASH… screamed how it was so unfair that I had to stay in every weekend. and if… IF!!!! I go out during the week, its almost always after midnight. when everybody is safe and sound in bed. I do alot for them all the time and i get moaned at for asking for money!!! which before any of this happened i repayed my father for, after which i proceeded to groan about how i work so hard and Do so much overtime and end up getting paid sweet FUCK ALL!
it was unfair. by the way. after my father turned down my sister for money, my mother came down and said she just gave her money to go out because she was crying.
eighteen years old and she was crying because she couldnt get some money.
i will mention that before any of this happened. she put some cans into the recycling bin in an attempt to justify that was why she deserved £10.
JAYSUS. I GET £5.10 AN HOUR FOR BREAKING MY BACK AT WORK SHIFTING STOCK FOR 8 HOURS A DAY!
pfffttt…
so im pissed with all this. and even more annoyed that EVERYONE will be drunk tonight. im not even gunna bother watching this movie. no point. she’ll only come in screaming and shouting and ruin the whole £12.99 i spent on that movie. I NEVER BUY MOVIES!
this was rare.

After I left work, i saw a work mate sat on the smokers bench and wandered over for some reason. said hi, then went to walk home. but then realised i forgot to get some cash out. so meandered back to the cash points. I think I was reluctant to go home. i spent around twenty minutes pointlessly wondering around the store in my uniform looking for Something to purchase. with nothing in mind at all.
By the time i was heading out of the carpark i was in a good mood, the temperature was warm, the sun was glowing, and i had some decent music popping away in my ears, then…
I spot Alan in the distance, on his Fixed Gear Bike, big grin on his face.
I secretly hope he’s here to see me
we chat for a while as he drops in the convo he has no way of contacting me and how hes thought of sending me emails. regaining his facebook account to send me a message on there. (he has no phone, it broke) and how hes there as his friends were meeting him there to buy some booze.
As he’s talking to me i take note of his smile, his eyes, and my heartbeat. pounding away in my chest as if it were imprisoned there and meant to be with his.
This thought throws me a little as im surprised i feel like this.
before he leaves i reach out for a hug, to reassure him I, Me, I want him, i am making the first move here, and he leans close and holds me tight.
we then have a sneaky kiss.
Did i mention this was in the middle of the carpark?
and people from our department were going to their cars.
and the fact he kept coming back for "one more kiss" was a sign that maybe he does want us to go public. AND exclusive.
I dont mind going public. Im just not so sure about exclusive…

So, on my way home. i have a skip in my step. and a smile on my face. as i plugged the headphones back into my ears after letting my DOPI… as i call it 😉 shuffle away during our convo, it happened to have landed on "jacks mannequin, we were made for each other"
LOL
IM BEING FAR TOO SENTIMENTAL!

I have more to say but think this may be giving few headaches right now, so will continue the next lot in another entry 😉
Toodles ~ x