Lost chances

To never read what I write….to miss what I have written.  A chance for you to delve into the inner sanctions of mind…to feel like you know me..a little better than you think you do.

It’s a shame.  This is me.  What I have written in this diary…much of it goes to the core of me.  At times, wrenched for the shadowy corners and converted to text.  The feelings laid bare.  Not just for those that read me, but for me to let it loose…to set it free.

A person I once thought I could have trusted with so much…to have opened up to and not had to think about censoring those parts of me which many people don’t know..because they would disappear into the mists of my past.

You not only took that trust away from me….you also found a way for me to think of you as nothing anymore.  That doesn’t happen too often.  My feelings and thoughts towards you are numb.  This is my goodbye to you.  Not tinged with a sadness which I thought it could have been.  Not left with a longing to speak to you or see you.  Just a goodbye.

Maybe one day I’ll see a lesson I must have learnt from knowing you.  And whilst a little while ago I thought that you were a good thing to have happened to me, which then changed into an anger that I had ever become close to you…none of that remains anymore.

Maybe what I’m learning is how to cut unnecessary people out of my life.  Maybe that’s the lesson I learnt from you.  Shame it had to be a negative for me to turn into a positive. 

It’s a shame that sometimes, you have to learn your lessons by things disappearing.