Empty

Isn’t it strange how quickly emptiness can invade something that once made you smile?

God I miss you.  Driving home today, it was all I could do to stop the tears from falling.  On the motorway I just wanted to put my foot down and hope that I could leave this all behind.
Hope that I could chase something and stop it from going away.

God, I hardly know you, but I feel like my heart made all the steps my mind was doubtful of.

Here I am, with shivers down my spine cos I’ve lost you.

And I never even really had you to begin with.

Life changes, that it does.  And sometimes, in the blink of an eye, it takes what you thought would be there, that made you smile.

I don’t understand how this started.  But more than that, I don’t understand how it ended.

And how these pieces got carved on the way.

Jesus, I miss you like crazy right now.  I just wanna see you.  I just wanna feel you close to me.

And I just want this to be "us" again…it was too brief….you’ve snatched yourself away from me, and I’m failing to understand.

I understand all the reasons this can’t work right now…I understand all too well.  But I hate it.  I hate that everything else ended up becoming intrinsically twisted into what we seemed to have created….

I don’t know how to carry on from here.  Everything was great, there really was no reason.  It’s typical…I meet a great guy, but he needs to end it cos he can’t hurt me….and that in itself hurts more than you’ll know.

I miss you.  I ache because I miss you so much and want you so much.  If I could rewind to yesterday, I’d put it on repeat, cos it was so special.  4 hours changed it all.

….and now, everything is empty, except for the image of you in my mind.