Do you see the beauty in death?

There’s a certain beauty in death.  An awakening.  Something which, from all the crap and sadness you have to deal with, that wakes you up to the world.

I’m sick of this you know.  I feel as though I have been stuck in limbo for far too long, and more than anything, I want to escape.  Not just from home, not just from this area, but from this life.  I know it sounds strange to be talking about awakenings, and following up wth a bit about death, but life is just at a point now.

it’s here, and I feel as though I have 2 paths.  I want to go down the path less certain, because I know I’ll learn a lot more.  But I don’t want to go alone.  I don’t feel that I can continue the way I’m going….it just isn’t me.

But then I wonder, what is me?  Where am I?  I’m feeling lost and up in the air…no longer grounded.  Through everything, I seem to have lost my view of the world…lost my view of me.

I want to scream to you to save me.  It’s all I’ve ever wanted…to be saved by you.  But you don’t hear me.  I don’t even hear me anymore.

Seeking that beauty….searching for the silence.