lovers lost

Does it ever get easier? Does the heartache ever stop? Do the memories of them fade?

She and I met at 22 and 20, respectively. We dated for 4 years and we’re engaged for 1.5 years before my future came crashing down. We called off our engagement and split. The relationship wasn’t perfect, but she was my best friend. We went through so many challenges and life struggles together. I would have done absolutely anything for her….just to see that beautiful smile of hers.

We have been broken up for almost a year now… and this shit is hard y’all. Not going to sugar coat it… My heart literally feels like it is ripped out of my chest. I miss her more than I’ve missed anyone before. Everything I do reminds me of her.

I just also found out that she is already seeing another woman… and I am incapable of opening up my heart to another person… even almost a year later.

I miss our love, our connection, the life we created together. It wasn’t always rainbows and butterflies… when it was bad it was very bad… but when it was good it was also really good..

We ended on extremely terrible terms which led to me having to contact local authorities because she got physical with me… something I never thought she would do to me.

I’m doing so many things for the first time by myself and it’s been quite an adjustment. Often feels lonesome.

To those reading – any advice you can offer? Have any of you experienced a breakup that ended badly? But there was so much love and passion there? I lost the love of my life and I don’t know how to move forward and alleviate the pain.

She is still living but I am grieving the loss of her in my life story.

help me heal.