What is that TASTE?

So I felt it was time to redecorate here.  I get bored easily with the same colors.  Check out my front page!  I think I’ve gotten the hang of designing over on scrapblog.  =)

I really don’t think I have all that much to talk about.  I’m really only writing this entry to take up some time before I go to bed.  I stopped taking my antibiotics for my ear a couple of weeks ago because I was getting such intense heartburn all the time.  Well I can tell my ear isn’t 100% yet, and I don’t feel like going back to the doctor until I have to go in March for the pre-op appointment.  So I’m going to finish the antibiotics over the next week and a half and be done with it.  I know that they were working, so that’s why I’m going to stick it out.  What sucks is they are the type of medication where you aren’t supposed to lay down for at least 30 minutes after you take them.  Bleh!  So here I sit.  UP.  I learned that lesson the hard way actually.  I forgot one night about the whole laying down thing and went ahead and took the meds right before bed.  I woke up in the middle of the night with the WORST medicine taste in my mouth.  And I think laying down adds to the heartburn effect.  So yeah… I’m sitting up until at least 12:40.

I forgot to write about my experience at the symposium on Muslim women that I attended on Saturday.  To sum it up, let’s just say that I am even more firm and comforted in my faith than before.  Don’t get me wrong, I could say some similarities between Christian and Muslim beliefs.  But there was just too  many loopholes I guess you could say in their religion.  And some of the things that they condone (even if they are only a last resort) were just out of the question for me.  I’m thankful for the love of my heavenly Father and even more so for the salvation that I have been given through Christ.

Jacob and I continue to meet struggles in our relationship.  There are times when I know that we are both wondering what the heck we are still doing together.  Some days when I would love to say, "Forget this, I’m outta here!"  But I’ve come to realize that it’s so easy to find the faults that we see in one another.  So easy to pick each other apart for our inadequacies.  I need to constantly remind myself that I need to fix myself 100% before I can begin to point fingers at my husband.  And since I would never be 100% perfect, that means that I will never be able to point fingers at  him.

On Sunday morning I was rather upset with Jacob when I left to go to church.  I think I was upset over the fact that he wasn’t going to church with me to begin with.  I so want for us to be on the same page when it comes to our faith.  It’s really something that I yearn for.  So whenever he starts to get lazy and stops wanting to go to church or Bible study, I start to panic and try to push him into going.  Sometimes it works and he thanks me for it later, but other times there’s no budging him.  Well on Sunday, he wasn’t going anywhere.  He had an attitude that I had no desire to really deal with anyway, so I didn’t really put much effort into getting him to go.  I did tell him on the way out the door that he better be careful and that I was really getting close to throwing in the towel on this relationship.

Then I got to church.  Pastor Kevin’s sermon was about serving one another.  It’s like the Lord knew what I needed to hear that morning.  I realized that instead of always trying to worry about what Jacob can do for me, I need to worry about what I can do for Jacob.  I needed to realize that it’s not a scoreboard.  It doesn’t matter if I serve him more than he serves me (although honestly that’s usually not the case).  When it comes to serving one another it’s not an eye for an eye situation.  You serve one another because you want to.  And you do it out of love for one another and out of love for Christ.

When I got home from church, Jacob and I talked.  Of course because of the comment I had made before I walked out the door earlier, he was worried that I was at the end of my rope.  I promised him that I wouldn’t be going anywhere.  And I won’t.  When I stop and relax and quit looking for the things that I don’t like in Jacob, I remember the good things… the wonderful things that I fell in love with almost 5 years ago.  God is good.  He is on our side, and as long as we turn to him when we struggle with things within our relationship, we will pull through 100%.

In other news, it looks like we just may be getting back on track with our money situation.  With a little bit of help from Nana, we will for sure have rent paid on time this month.  The first time in a long time that it will be on time.  (That was a funny sentence.)  I look forward to getting things under control finally after months and months of struggling.  We are blessed to have people that love and care enough about us to want to help us in our time of need.

Speaking of being blessed, tonight at Bible study, the other girls gave me messages of blessings from each of them.  It was an extremely humbling experience to say the least.  I realized how easy it can be to know that you are blessed with people around you, but to be told that you are a blessing to others is pretty powerful.  I will cherish the moment for a long time to come.  I’ve been enjoying the process of writing my own personal blessing to each of the other girls as well.  It’s been one of my favorite things that we’ve done at either of my Bible studies.

Oh yeah… and one last thing before I end this for the night.  I’ve been a letter writing machine!  I’ve written six letters so far since my previous entry.  They were all letters to my friends and family, and I have about four more to write to women from other parts of the world that I connected with on interpal.  I’m excited to receive letters from other parts of the world.  I’m going to make a scrapbook with the letters as I begin to receive them.  I have piles of ideas on how I’m going to do it. =)

Well, my eyes are getting droopy.  I better hit the hay.  It’s now 12:45, so hopefully it safe to lay down without the repercussions of medicine mouth in the middle of the night.

Until next time,
JamieLynn =)