Time To Be Renewed

Remember when I mentioned that I had found my childhood best friend on facebook?  Well after I found her, I had sent a couple of other messages to her with not much of a response back.  I was beginning to think that maybe she had decided that it was too weird to talk to somebody that she didn’t really know anymore and hadn’t talked to in at least 20 years.  Well, I was just on facebook and I saw that she was online, so I sent her a chat message.  We chatted for a about 20-30 minutes or so.  It was cool, but still awkward.  She mentioned that she’s a slacker when it comes to facebook which I can understand.  I am too.  At least we got to talk a little bit.  We talked about her and her family maybe coming out to visit.  Not sure if that will pan out or not.  Guess we’ll have to see.

Today was kind of a bleh day.  I woke up bright and early to the sound of the alarm on the phone going off.  Jacob had slept on the couch, which is where he is again right now, and he had forgotten to take the phone with him.  So I got up and told him that it was time to get up.  I went to go to the bathroom before going to bed, and what do you know I stepped in a nice cold pile of dog poo.  I was furious!  That dog is seriously on it’s last leg with me, but for whatever reason Jacob insists that she is here to stay.  He’s got another thing coming though.  I’m literally only moments away from telling on us to the landlord so that they can be the bad guy and make us get rid of the dog.  LOL  I used to love dogs, but for whatever reason, I can’t stand this one.  She way to destructive in my eyes, and it’s just not worth it.  Not to mention that I refuse to pay the addition $500 to have her plus the additional $35/month rent.  I can’t justify paying that much money to have a mutt that I don’t even like in my apartment tearing up the place and making it smell.  Jacob doesn’t even make an effort to train her properly and half the time he’s yelling at her or snatching her up to throw her out of the room anyway.  I wish it would have been him that stepped in the dog poo this morning.  I’m pretty sure that would have been the last straw for her if he had.  But of course since it was me, all he did was look at her and say, "bad dog."  Yeah… really nice.

So while I’ve been doing well at keeping my cool this week and doing my best to be close to God, I’m still not feeling the best when it comes to the happiness of my home life.  Jacob can see that I’ve been making an effort, but sadly it doesn’t seemed to have made a difference to him.  He’s still the same old Jacob towards me which leads me to think what’s the point of this relationship.  Especially if I show him love and kindness and get nothing in return.  He’d rather keep a dog that he doesn’t really pay that much attention to just to spite me I believe than try and make just as much effort at improving our relationship as I have been.  Just when I thought that I had found the beginnings of a solution to our bitterness and nastiness towards each other, I find out that it doesn’t seem to matter what I do.  He’s going to treat me the same way regardless.  A person can only take so much though.  I’m beginning to think that things will never change.

As a person though, I like the changes that I’ve been making with myself.  I feel more positive throughout the day which obviously is a good thing.  I’m not cussing nearly as much with the exception of this morning of course.  And I’m really really looking forward to Sunday getting here so that I can go to church and renew my spirit.  That’s how I feel whenever I go to church on Sundays.  Like I’ve been renewed and refreshed.  I want to feel that way again.  I’m glad that the weekend is almost here!

And now on to a random note… Did anybody watch So You Think You Can Dance? last night.  I absolutely loved the routine that was danced to the Leona Lewis song.  Had I known that it was going to be that good, I would have recorded it.  I’m sure I’ll be able to find it on YouTube soon enough though.

*EDIT"
Here’s the video I’m talking about!!!
 

Well, I supposes.  It’s 12:01.  I’m thirsty and I should get ready for bed.

BCNU soon.

JamieLynn =)