This Pretty Much Sums It Up Right Now

Vicki sent me an email to say hello and see how I’m doing.  Well I started out with a basic update which turned into the follow and in turn pretty much sums up how I feel about my life right now.  *sigh*

I’m here!  Things are good.  The infection is for the most part gone.  I stopped taking the antibiotics for a bit because they were causing massive heartburn.  About a week ago they gave me the worst heartburn I’ve ever had in my life.  Jacob and I were headed over to a friends house to feed their cats while they were out of town when it hit.  He had to stop at a store quick to buy me some milk and crackers.  I ended up tossing my cookies in their parking lot for about 5 minutes.  BLEH!  I haven’t taken the antibiotics since then.  I need to finish them though.  *sigh*  I can tell that it’s not 100% healed yet.  Probably about 90%.
 
That’s awesome that you’ve lost 15 lbs!  I personally haven’t made hardly any progress.  BLEH again.  It’s frustrating because I know it’s a motivation thing with me.  I know what I have to do.  I do part of it.  I eat okay.  Don’t really over eat.  Doing my best to not eat things I shouldn’t but could definitely do better (especially on the weekends).  Definitely still need to drink more water, but have improved somewhat.  And need to workout.  I’ve been patiently waiting for the gym to open at my apartment complex.  They keep coming up with excuses as to why it’s not open yet though.  Last Jacob heard was that it could be open within the next week or the next month.  Nice.
 
By the time I get home from work at night, I don’t want to go out and walk around the block 10 times.  I’d rather go bust my ass on the elliptical machine and be done with it.  I told Jacob I’m going to go break into it.  LOL  The cops will show up and I’ll be working out like a mad woman.
 
We even have a contest going on here at work that I made up!  The person who puts in the most work out hours in a week has to do a portion of the other person’s workload the following week.  Did that motivate me?  No.  All I’ve done this past week is going hiking for about an hour and half on Saturday.  That’s it!  I SUCK!
 
My priorities in life are completely out of whack right now.  I have 2 bible studies every week that I usually end up waiting until the last second to work on.  I’m teaching ESL to Mirielle on Tuesday nights that I usually wait until the last second to prepare for if I even do that.  Sometimes I just wing it.  Thank God that she’s still learning English and people are able to actually have a real conversation with her now.  Not sure how that happened.  LOL
 
I just get so frustrated with myself.  I’ve worked up too many years of bad habits and I’ve finally gotten sick of them, but I’m too overwhelmed to break them all.  I start out the week by thinking I have a plan.  I’ll write a list.  I scheduled list.  From this time to this time I’ll do this.  From that time to that time I’ll do that.  But then writing the list just gets put on my mental list of things to do and therefore doesn’t get written.  Yeah.  BLEH!!!!!!
 
That soup sounds good.

So yeah.  That’s it.  I’m in a funk.