Persistent Much?

This week is creeping by!  Tuesday felt like Wednesday, and yesterday felt like today.  I’m ready for this week to be over.  Actually, I don’t necessarily wish for the week to be over, I would just rather be somewhere other than work.  Things are pretty slow lately, which is nice, but it makes for a long day.

I’ve been slacking off a bit on the stair challenge.  I’m not necessarily over it, but I’m not exactly feeling it lately.  I’ve only climbed one flight this morning, and I’ve basically skipped my first break today.  I’ll try and get in between 20-30 flights today though.  Especially considering I only did a total of two flights yesterday.

Cross Fit is still going well.  My endurance is improving, and I’m able to push myself more and more each time I go.  As of Monday, I have now lost 13 pounds since beginning Cross Fit at the beginning of February.  I had a few up and down weeks, but I feel like I may be on a roll now.  I’m pretty excited to keep seeing the results.

This week we got a lease renewal notice for our apartment.  *sigh*  It’s no good.  If we renew our lease for 6 or 12 months, our rent will go up $80.  Without a lease renewal, our rent will go up $108.  UGH!  Neither option is good.  We’ve reached the limit that we are willing to pay to continue living in our apartment.  So we are now going to be moving.  Hopefully we’ll be able to find something and get moved before June rolls around which is when the rent will go up.

When we got the notice and I realized that we were going to have to move, I had a mini-breakdown.  Looking back, I know now that it was pretty silly to get so upset.  Jacob has been wanting to move someplace else for awhile now.  Me not so much.  This is the first place that I’ve lived where I’ve stayed for longer than a year or two.  It’s been home for me for over 6 years now!  And I simply don’t deal with change very well at all.  Then I start thinking of the difficulties that we may have because of not so good bad credit.  And the worries just kept coming and coming, and within minutes I was in tears.  Jacob kept asking me why I was worrying and insisted that we would be just fine because God is going to provide.  I wasn’t hearing it though.

We did go through some listings on craigslist for a bit that night, and found a couple that we may call on.  Maybe this weekend we’ll go check some places out to get a jump on finding something new.  I don’t want to move too far from the area we are in because other than work, everything else that we are involved in is in this area.  The upside is that we will hopefully be able to find a place that is less expensive than what we have been paying in hopes to not living on such a tight week to week budget.

I do realize that God is going to provide what we need including a place to live.  Sometimes it just takes some time for me to open my eyes and clear the cloudiness from my brain.  I posted on Facebook about how grateful I am to have a husband who is able to keep a clear head when it comes to stressful situations.  One of my friends commented that her mom has a saying on her refrigerator that says, "Good morning!  This is God.  Enjoy your day and be worry free.  I’ll be around to look after things for you."  I love it!  I wrote it down on a post-it and put it up in my cubicle.  I need to make more to put up in other areas where I will see them.  Maybe I’ll have a craft project this weekend that I can incorporate the saying into.

I’ve also been listening to some sermons online about worrying.  I know now that it’s unnecessary and that I was just being a bit foolish, human, and weak.  The situation is what it is and God is going to take care of us regardless.

I talked to my mom online for a few minutes this morning.  I need to make an effort to talk to my family more often.  I’ve been distant quite a bit lately.  I pray that things work out for Jacob and me to be able to go back for a visit soon.  It’s been over two years since I’ve seen anybody in my family.  So weird!

Anywho… My mom told me that my psycho ex has attempted to contact me again.  Seems that he tries once or twice a year or so.  UGH!  I honestly could go without her telling me that he’s still trying to reach me.  Apparently he had somebody else call on his behalf to ask for me and went so far as to tell that person that I am his wife.  (I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.)  I’m totally creeped out now and can’t wait to get home and cuddle up with Jacob!  It’s been OVER SEVEN years since I last had any contact with him and going on EIGHT years since I last saw him face to face.  Why in the WORLD is he still bothering?  It just makes me remember the time when he told me that he could kill me and get away with it in front of his friend who proceeded to laugh like it was a joke.  If I remember correctly, he also told me that he would always be able to find me.  *shudder*  I just hope he stays right where he is (prison) for a good long time.  I told my mom that I hope I don’t have nightmares now because of this.  Every once in awhile I have nightmares about him anyway.  I’ve honestly forgiven him for the crap that he did and the drama that was my life back then, BUT I don’t want ANYTHING to do with him now.  I’ve moved on!  So should he.  UGH!  I know he has pictures of me in there.  How creepy is THAT?!

Okay… I’m done.  I need to get my mind focused on something else right now.  That’s all for today.