Introducing the Mother Bear in Me

I was supposed to meet with Mirielle on Tuesday evening for our ESL lesson.  She is doing so well.  I understand a good majority of what she says now, and love the fact that we are able to effectively communicate in English.  She really is learning fast.  But on Tuesday, she called to say she wasn’t up to her regular lesson, so we rescheduled for last night.

I got there around the normal time, and she came out to the living room of the apartment she shares with another refugee family.  We started our normal review process.  She wanted to go over her alphabet again and focus on the few letters that she has been struggling with.  But after just a few minutes, she told me that she couldn’t do her lesson.  She was having a hard time focusing and just wasn’t into it right then.  I asked her if she wanted to go for a drive instead thinking I would take her to get something to drink or a snack.

So we head out for a drive and look for a place where we can sit and talk.  I pulled into a McDonalds, but we didn’t even make it in.  She proceeded to tell me that there are a number of problems that have been coming up in the apartment between her and the other family.  Now it’s really hard for me to take this in because I love all of these people, but when she proceeded to tell me what has been going on, I found it hard not to drive straight back to the apartment and go in and put James and Mary in their place.

It seems that there has been some arguing going on including going so far as to threaten calling the police.  I’m not even so sure as to whether or not the police weren’t actually already called.  So Catholic Charities currently gives all of the refugees a certain amount of money each month for the cost of their rent.  They also receive food stamps from the state.  But all in all they aren’t receiving hardly anything by most people’s standards.  Evidently Catholic Charities has given some money/assistance to the household as a whole as well, but from what Mirielle has said James and Mary are keeping it for their family and not really distributing it fairly.

In addition to that situation, there was an incident where Mirielle was trying to wash an article of clothing in the bath tub.  Mary got upset with her, saying that the chemical of the soap or whatever Mirielle was using was bad for the little ones (as long as she cleaned up after she was finished, there’s no reason there would have been a problem).  But Mary evidently was not seeing it that way, and in addition called Mirielle stupid and said she was no good.  At this point, I am livid.  There is NO REASON this should be happening.  They are all in the same boat here.  What has come over her to think it is in any way acceptable to treat Mirielle like that.

Now it may seem that I am choosing sides, and guess what I am.  I know in my heart that there is no way that Mirielle even has it in her to be able to make any of this up.  She is so unbelievable pure and innocent.  It’s just not in her to say these things if it isn’t true.  I could tell be the heartbreak in her voice and in her eyes as she told me in her broken English that this is something that she is dealing with right now.  She wants very badly to get away from this family.  She tells them over and over that she doesn’t want any problems with them.  That is not who she is.  She is simply heartbroken over all of this.  And Noam (the girl that is in the picture that I drew of Mirielle when they first arrived, also Mary’s sister) hasn’t talked to Mirielle in 4 days now.  What has happened with these people that they would become so cold?

So the mother bear in me has come out.  I want so badly to protect Mirielle from the heartbreak that she is enduring right now.  This girl has gone through way too much in her short lifetime to be dealing with such petty arguements.  I have to think that it may be a similar situation as when Jacob and I get on one another’s nerves and say things that we don’t mean, but Mirielle is the last person that deserves to have to deal with something like that.  I just don’t know what to do.  I haven’t talked to anyone about it yet.  I want to call Andrea, but at the same time I’m afraid that she may already put up a wall so as to not get too involved or for the sake of not wanting to choose sides.  I understand that.  I personally am closer to Mirielle though.  I love James and Mary too, but their behavior is inexcusable.

Mirielle said that she has talked to her case worker at Catholic Charities and asked them to find a new place for her to live.  I would so love to tell her that she can come live with me and Jacob, but in all honesty, while Jacob and I love each other dearly, we have our moments where we fight and argue too and I don’t want to expose her to that.  Especially considering what she is dealing with right now.  I just don’t know.

I told Mirielle that she will be okay.  I did my best to reassure her that it would work out and that she can call me at any time.  I just hope that James and Mary lay off and that Noam can find it in her heart to let go of whatever is causing the tension.  Long enough for them to get along well enough until Mirielle can move out.  Or maybe just reconcile all together, and move past all of this.

I pray that God softens the hearts of all who are involved so that this is resolved sooner rather than later.