Growing Up with OD

First of all, obviously I would like to say, happy birthday OD!  Congratulations on making it 10 years.  =)

I’ve actually never participated in the theme of the week entries.  Mostly because I usually forget they are there.  LOL  It kind of reminds me when we were forced to keep journals in one of my English classes back in high school.  We were given the choice to write about something of our choice, or we could write about a them that the teacher chose if we weren’t feeling creative.

So my little corner of OD was established almost 5 years ago.  I’m a tad bit jealous of those people that have been here for longer than me.  LOL  But at the same time I’m proud to say that OD is probably one of the longest standing commitments that I have ever kept in my life.  I’ve always loved journals.  I don’t know what it is about them, but I love them.  My problem has always been actually commiting to one journal and filling it from beginning to end.  I’ve never done it although that I did start a spiritual paper journal back in July that I’m almost half way through already.  I’m excited to fill it from cover to cover and then move on to the next.

But with OD, there is no end.  There’s a beginning, but from there my entries have just continued to fill screen after screen after screen.  I have pointless entries of course.  When I first started OD you can see how apparent it was that I didn’t know what I was doing when it came to choosing my fonts and colors.

I was going through a lot when I first came to this site.  I found it through http://www.bored.com.  I had just moved back in with my mom and step-dad after finding my way home from Texas.  My ex-boyfriend was on his way back to Texas due to extradition.  He had broken is probation by even crossing the border.  Thank God that we went to Nebraska instead of some place else, otherwise I’m certain that I would have been in a world of trouble along with him.  Luckily they took him away without giving me a second glance.  It was the beginning of a big change in my life.

From there I started writing about a brief online relationship that started with a guy I had met in a chat room.  He was such a comfort to me in getting over the horrific relationship that I had just escaped from.  He helped me to get over so much and quickly became my best friend.  All this time, there were people leaving me notes of support and encouragement on my entries.  It seemed that although nobody really had a face to me, the words of encouragement were helping me to heal.

Plans were beginning to unfold with the guy that I had met.  He mentioned coming to see me and even ended up befriending my mom and step-dad.  Unfortunately after months of non-stop talking on the phone and computer, staying up all night long and even going so far as to fall asleep together on the phone, the guy ended up totally burning me.  He ended up being married with a baby and supposedly a kid on the way.  Needless to say I crashed and burned once again.  It’s all here on OD.  You won’t find those entries though.  Everything from the beginning has been put on private.

What you will find though is the very beginning of my relationship with my husband and an the immense amount of change that I’ve gone through over the past 5 years.  It’s funny to see how much I’ve really grown up.  I was such a kid when I first started this diary (even though I was 23).  I had a good amount of life experiences, but not much maturity behind it all.

So OD for me is like home.  I grew up here.  I’ll stay here until the walls fall down.  =)  There are times where I may goes days, weeks, even months without writing, but I will always come back.  No other site compares to OD.  It’s a place where I’ve made friends, not too many enemies, and where I’ve grown as a person.  I can come here to vent.  I can come here to celebrate.  I can come here to debate (thanks to the boards).  And most of all I can come here to reminisce.

Thank you, OD!  I can’t imagine my life now without you.  =)

Love always,
JamieLynn =)