Finding Joy

So my ranting is over.  Just a few short hours after completely venting here, I’ve already come to peace with a lot of what I was complaining about.  If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, it’s because I put the entry on private already.  I’ve come to some semblance of peace mainly thanks to some of the women from my church.  We had a women’s bible study/prayer session tonight.  It was the cleansing that I really needed.  It was my first time going to a group like this, so the experience in itself was amazing to me.

We started out by "catching up" on what is going on in our lives right now.  Where we are in our relationship with God.  How we see God working in our daily lives.  One by one we went around the room and shared.  Like I said, it was a very cleansing and emotional experience for me.  I talked about how I had made the decision to find their church.  About the religious differences that Jacob and I had been having and are still having now.  I shared a lot of bottled up emotion with them, and now that it’s all out I feel so so much better.

After we shared where we were in our lives, Luann led a prayer that included each of us.  As she went around the room saying each of our names, we had the opportunity to pray for each other.  The things that were said when they prayed for me were beautiful.  It opened my eyes to so much more than what I was seeing before.

After the prayer session, we talked a little bit about the first few verses of the book of James.  James 1:1-8 talks about how we need to take joy in all of our trials and tribulations.  Find joy in all of our hardships.  One lady there was the perfect example of this.  She had her second baby about 2 months ago or so.  He was born with a heart defect though, and in turn he just recently had to have open heart surgery.  Even through everything that she and her husband and family are going through, she finds joy in what they have endured and what is to come.  It’s hard to explain I guess.  Because really, who would find joy in the hardships of life right?  Well… if you think about it.  If you didn’t find joy in your trials and tribulations, then would you really be able to appreciate life when there were none?

God gives us trials so that we can grow.  There’s a purpose for everything, and we are His purpose.  Ask God to give you wisdom, and then really believe that He will. 

In this message, I came to realize that although Jacob and I are having a hard time in our relationship right now, I need to find joy in all of that.  So that when we are finally through this rough patch, I will truly be able to cherish and appreciate what is good.

One of the things I mentioned when I was explaining where I’m at right now in life was how I really wanted to share all of this with Jacob but he wasn’t being as receptive as I wanted/expected him to be.  I was told that the best thing to do would be to lead him to God through my actions instead of my words.  Instead of telling him how much I think he should go to church with me, I’m just going to keep going on my own and leave it up to him to join me when he is comfortable.  Be nicer and more loving.  More peaceful and at ease in our relationship.

We also talked about ways to talk to non-Christians about the word of God.  One question that could be asked is whether or not you or whoever you are talking to has ever had an experience where you thought, "That was God".  For example in nature, seeing something amazing and beautiful.  Maybe somebody pulling through an extremely hard time in their life and coming out on top.  Maybe some small seemingly insignificant thing such as not being able to find something and then taking a quick moment to pray for patience and assistance in finding what you may be looking for… only to turn around and it be right there.

I personally have had this feeling the moment that I found my new church.  I literally felt that God had led me to find the church at that exact moment in time.  It was just so perfect.  There was no way that I did it on my own.  God called me to worship at this church, and now I go from week to week looking forward to Sunday morning service.

I’m not sure if the group that I went to tonight is going to be meeting every week or just every once in awhile.  We are going to be reading the book of James for discussion for next weekend though, so maybe we’ll get to meet again.  If so, I’m really looking forward to it.  I’ve already read the first chapter.  I’ll add my notes of what as stuck out to me in another entry… maybe tomorrow.

Did I mention that they found the house that they are going to lease for the refugees?  Well they did.  It’s actually literally just down the street from here.  I can’t wait until I start volunteering.  I’ve got the application filled out.  Now I just need to set up an appointment to get a TB test and go get finger printed.  Oh… and decide on what type of service I’m going to offer when I volunteer.  I’m not sure yet what I want to do.  I guess I’ll be praying for the answer to that.

I’ve also been invited to join another bible study group.  They meet on Monday nights.  It’s actually the bible study group for the younger girls in the congregation, but Christy thought that I would like to join it too.  Which she was right.  I look forward to it.  They are going to start meeting on July 14th.  It should be fun.

I rode to the group meeting tonight with Deb.  She is so nice, and when she was giving me and another lady a lift home after group tonight, Luann called to say that I had forgot my keys at her house.  Deb said it was no problem and after dropping Liz off took my right back across town to pick them up.  We talked the whole time.  I absolutely love her.  In fact I love each of the ladies that was at the get together.  They are all amazing and I feel so blessed to have them in my life.

When I got home tonight, I told Jacob that I loved him.  Because I do.  And I’ve let my anger towards him cloud that love.  I think that he could already see the change in my attitude from the moment that I walked in the door.  After talking with him for a few minutes about what we talked about at group, I grabbed my Bible and my notebook and went in the other room to start reading the book of James and reflecting on what it said.  I know this entry is getting long, and since I’ve already written down my notes in my notebook, I’ll just summarize a couple of things that stood out to me.

First, this verse totally stood out without me even breaking it down.
James 1:12 says: Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, beacause when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.

And another thing that stood out to me in chapter one of the book of James was the lesson to not be so quick to become angry.  That is something that I personally need to work on.  Anger does not lead to the righteous life that God desires.  I’m always so q

uick to become angry at a situation instead of taking it in stride.  Also, don’t just listed to the word.  Do what it says.  And finally, you are deceiving yourself if you consider yourself religious but act otherwise.  In other words, actions really do speak louder than words.

I think and I hope that people will begin to see a change in how I lead my life on a daily basis.  Taking the steps that I’m taking in my new found journey with God is at the top of my priority list.  I guess as long as I see the difference in my life and as long as God sees the difference in my life, then that is truly what matters.  After reading and reflecting on the first chapter of the book of James, I sat and prayed.  I can honestly say that it was probably one of the first times that I truly shut myself off from everything else and sat and talked to God.  It was personally amazing and very fulfilling.  I’m so thankful for where I’m at right now and I feel that it can truly only go up from here (hard times included).

P.S. Tranquility, if you read this I just wanted to let you know that I can note you back because I don’t have access to your diary right now.  I don’t have OD Plus right  now.  *sigh*  Maybe later on this week or next month.