Dares 2 Through 4

So I’ve fallen behind already on keeping track of my Love Dare progress.  *sigh*  I have been working on the dares for the most part, but just not journalling at the end of each day.  So here’s where I’ll catch up.

DAY 2 ~ LOVE IS KIND  (What is desirable in a man is his kindness. (Proverbs 19:22))

IN ADDITION TO SAYING NOTHING NEGATIVE TO YOUR SPOUSE AGAIN TODAY, DO AT LEAST ONE UNEXPECTED GESTURE AS AN ACT OF KINDNESS.

What discoveries did you make today?

• I’ve noticed that by not reacting negatively to things that I normally would react to, our arguments have been non-existant.  I’m sure there were a couple of times when Jacob was trying to start something, but when I didn’t bite nothing ever came of his attempts.

What specifically did you do in this dare?

• My act of kindness was to spend time with him at his favorite hang out.  While he played a video game at the internet cafe for a couple of hours, I just sat by him and read a book.  It wasn’t bad at all, and he seemed to enjoy the fact that I was just hanging out with him.

How did you show kindness?

• I showed kindness by staying positive, and not nagging Jacob to leave before he was ready.  He seemed to appreciate that I was patient and willing to just chil.

DAY 3 ~ LOVE IS NOT SELFISH  (Where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder. (James 3:16))

WHATEVER YOU PUT YOUR TIME, ENERGY, AND MONEY INTO WILL BECOME MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU.  IT’S HARD TO CARE FOR SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT INVESTING IN.  ALONG WITH RESTRAINING FROM NEGATIVE COMMENTS, BUY YOUR SPOUSE SOMETHAT THAT SAYS "I WAS THINKING OF YOU TODAY."

What did you choose to give your spouse?

• So honestly I didn’t complete this dare other than continuing to vear away from negative comments.  Due to my recent job layoff, we don’t exactly have money to be spending on a lot of extra things.  Yet at the same time I can’t say that I can use that as an excuse considering everything that Jacob got for me this past few days.  He did get me a Barnes and Noble membership and three new books.  And I also got a crock pot when we went grocery shopping on Saturday.  I did make him some yummy pot roast on Sunday though, and I got his lunch ready for when he goes back to work (whenever it stops raining).  I’m noticing that by refraining from negative comments, we are getting along much better though.  If I don’t react to his outburst the way that I normally would, then he doesn’t really have anywhere to go with it and in turn the conversations aren’t ending in blow-out fights.  There’s really something to this patience and not losing my temper.

What happened when you gave it?

• Well he seemed to really enjoy the meal that I made for him yesterday.  I’ll be a bit more creative tomorrow and make him something else.

DAY 4 ~ LOVE IS THOUGHTFUL  (I thank my God in all my remembrance of you. (Philippians 1:3)

CONTACT YOUR SPOUSE SOMETIME DURING THE BUSINESS OF THE DAY.  HAVE NO AGENDA OTHER THAN ASKING HOW HE OR SHE IS DOING AND IF THERE IS ANYTHING YOU CAN DO FOR THEM.

What did you learn about yourself or your spouse by doing this today?

• I’ve noticed that because I have been staying much more positive, I actually want to do things for Jacob.  He appreciates when I ask him if I can get him anything.

How could this become more natural, routine, and genuinely helpful parts of your lifestyle?

• It’s obvious that the more positive our relationship becomes the more we strive to please one another.  I realize that I’ve been rather selfish when it comes to doing for my husband and not just sitting back expecting to have him do things for me.  I never claimed to be perfect, and now that I’m making myself realize my selfish tendencies, I’m wanting more and more to change those habits.

Today was supposed to be day five.  I read the dare last night, but then totally spaced it off until a little bit ago.  I’ll add it to tomorrow’s dare since it’s something that I should be able to combine.  So the next two dares are:

DAY 5 ~ LOVE IS  NOT RUDE (The words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious. (Ecclesiastes 10:12))

ASK YOUR SPOUSE TO TELL YOU THREE THINGS THAT CAUSE HIM OR HER TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE OR IRRITATED WITH YOU.  YOU MUST DO SO WITHOUT ATTACKING THEM OR JUSTIFYING YOUR BEHAVIOR.  tHIS IS FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE.

DAY 6 ~ LOVE IS NOT IRRITABLE (I always do my best to have a clear conscience toward God and men. (Acts 24:16))

CHOOSE TODAY TO REACT TO TOUGH CIRCUMSTANCES IN YOUR MARRIAGE IN LOVING WAYS INSTEAD OF IRRITATION. BEGIN BY MAKING A LIST BELOW OF AREAS WHERE YOU NEED TO ADD MARGIN TO YOUR SCHEDULE.  THEN LIST ANY WRONG MOTIVATIONS THAT YOU NEED TO RELEASE FROM YOUR LIFE.

 

Okay so days five and six will be addressed tomorrow.  I must say that today I slipped up a bit and noticed that I was getting a bit snippy with Jacob.  He was ragging on me about something, and I didn’t want to hear it, so I snapped back a couple of times.  Luckily I got myself in check shortly thereafter and nothing came of it.  He actually came in and admitted that I hadn’t done anything to upset him and that he was just being a butthead.  It’s been pretty peaceful around here lately all things considered. =)  I’m only a few days into this, and I’m doing my best not to read ahead to see what else I have to do.  I want to take it one day at a time.

In other news, I’m going to call the ear, nose and throat doctor tomorrow and see if I can get in this week.  I never finished taking the antibiotics they gave me (shame on me), and therefore the abscess hasn’t fully gone away.  I think this will cause them to push the surgery back a bit and put me on antibiotics again.  They need to finish draining all the fluid out, and I’m hoping they can just drain it with a needle and not make me keep it packed again.  My stomach hurts just thinking about it.  But I’m also much more annoyed that it hasn’t gone away now.  I know it’s my fault for not finishing the meds, but at the same time I had pretty much had it the night that I ended up with the worst heartburn I’ve ever experienced in my life followed by a joyful round of tossing my cookies in a liquor store parking lot for about 5 minutes or so.  That was it for me.  Guess we’ll see what they say now.  Wish me luck!

I’m still getting my resume out as much as possible.  Things are looking pretty bleak right now.  Today was a holiday, so I’m hoping to see more job postings tomorrow.

I’m currently reading To Kill a Mockingbird.  I remember reading it when I was in school.  I’m pretty sure I liked it back then, but I’m also pretty sure that I’m enjoying it even more now.  =)  It’s good stuff.

I just remembered that the heater fixer guy is supposed to be here between 8 and 8:30 tomorrow morning.  That’s less than 6 hours away.  Oy!  I better get to gettin’.

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