MY MOUTH……my burden

Wow….it’s been a long time since I’ve written.  Well I suppose not alot has changed since the last time.  Still married, still working, still punching away at life.  I love my job which is something I’ve never had in my life before, so that’s good.  We’re looking for a house or another apartment to move into.  I’d rather have a house, I hate paying rent for nothing.  Getting ready to go over to his parents for the 4th holiday….which will be fun….

……….When I first started this diary I was in a bad place in my life and it’s amazing to me that in just a short couple of years how much life has changed.  I’m married now, looking for a place to life with my husband….thinking about starting a family in a couple of years or whenever it happens….Having a stable job that I like…..I have a GREAT relantionship with my mother now, although my sister and I have ALOT to work on, but that’s ok…..I guess….

I grew up…………………….

Problems that used to bother me just don’t anymore.  The craziness of being over dramatic and thinking the world is going to end just because something didn’t go my way has passed.  Well for the most part 🙂  I still have my immature moments, as I’m sure we all do right??? 

Through all of this change.  All of the life.  I can still find something to bitch about or procrastinate about.  It’s sad really.  That’s one thing that I wish I could change about myself.  I’m working on it, and I’ve improved a little.  Still, I avoid responsibility like the plague.  Whether it’s just cleaning the house that needs to be done or talking to some company about a bill or it could really be anything.  I know that this really annoys my husband.  I know because he tells me. I just don’t know why I do it.  It’s like I know that I really need to take care of things that I really need to get up off of my ass and do something and I just don’t.  I just sit around and do nothing and he eventually has to do it and it pisses him off.  Which is understandable.  I mean I’m not completely lazy.  I do the dishes and sweep and all that.  I just don’t get down to mopping and dusting and all of that around the house.  As far as bills well they suck but I just write the checks.

I don’t know I’m just rambling right now.  Beating around what I really want to write about.  Which is my husband. Although I haven’t really written in awhile so I’m afriad that the bitching I do will come off the wrong way and put him off in a wrong light.  He loves me I know he does.  Just sometimes he says some really insensitive crap that pisses me off. 

I must admit though that women really suck at asking questions that have no answers what so ever so that maybe men will fuck up and say the wrong thing.  That’s fucked up.  I do this and I know that if it was done to me it would get on my nerves.  I try to paint him into a corner so that I can complain about something sometimes.  Although sometimes he just says some of the most stupid things and as we all know I hate being wrong and I love pointing out that someone else is doing something or saying something incorrectly.  What a habit……

I asked him once if he ever thought about cheating on me and he said well yeah before we got married when we first started dating, but I never did it and when we got married all of that never entered my mind again.  *EXPLOSION*…..I was pissed….instantly.  And all because I just had to ask a stupid question right?  Another example….when he was younger he had a really serious g/f for about 4 years off and on….she killed herself at home(she was still living with her parents) I don’t know how difficult this must have been for him…but me being a dumbass once asked if he wished he was marrying her rather than I….and he said sometimes he thinks about her and that he would always love her…. I didn’t let him get much further before getting pissed off…..

I should shut up………….my mouth is my own undoing……

~megs