It is what it is, right?

Well this week has been busy. Work is great and I love it 🙂 Home, eh…it’s not where my heart is anymore I fear. I go to work and come home everyday, but I’d rather stay at work some days. I love? my husband, but I’m confused as to what kind of love it is. If that makes any sense at all lol He tells me that he thinks I’m sexy and how much he wants/loves me, but I just can’t get over the fact that he slept with 2 other women. I’ve tried to push it out of my mind and to just move on. It isn’t working. I look at him sometimes and I don’t understand how I could have allowed him to come back into my life. A moment of weakness I’ll regret for years. I found some woman’s number a couple of weeks ago and I asked him what the hell was going on and he was honest he said he thought about calling her. I just don’t get it. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to move on from him. I never thought of myself as a weak person before, perhaps being alone is just more frightening that I thought.

I know that I’m worth more, and I deserve better than him. I just want to be with someone who can have fun and not make a big deal out of little things. Someone who loves me at my worst, because they’ll never appreciate me at my best if they don’t. Responsible, can make me feel safe, keeps their dick in their pants except around me ;-), knows how to be a gentlemen in public and can’t keep their hands off of me. Is that too much to ask for??? lol Maybe….

I’ll never be perfect and I’m ok with that…I just want to find someone who can see the beauty in that too.

Today I feel like even though there aren’t bruises on the outside doesn’t mean they don’t exist on the inside.