“I love you”

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It was one of those peaceful, calm nights. The wind was blowing but not too strong, the humidity was low, the moon was beautiful and the roads were empty. He surprised me by saying he’s coming over to meet up for a few.

We love the outdoors, whether it’s walking around the city of sitting by a fountain in a park. Some of our best moments have been outside in a park like area. We can sit and talk for hours but we can also sit and just enjoy the peaceful nights without saying a word to each other. It’s that sort of comfortable silence where you don’t have to scramble up words to say, think of things to do or places to go. It could be my head on his shoulder while he rubs my back, us starring at each other while holding one another or just sitting starring into space thinking about the phenomenon’s of life.

We met up and drove to a nearby park, one big enough for tennis courts, basketball courts, a good size pond with a beautiful fountain spewing from the middle of it all, lit gazebos and much more. Our “picnic” blanket we had bought on our second date has come handy so many times, it was definitely worth it. We walked through the maze and found the pond with the fountain, places our red fleece blanket on the floor and out a pillow on top. We must have been there for three hours just talking to each other, looking at each other and enjoying every second of it all.

At one point through the night, he looked at me while lying on top of me and said “I love you” and I just stared at him. I didn’t say anything back; I didn’t know how to respond. Was he for real? I couldn’t tell. I waited for more to come and just froze to figure out what he meant. “I mean it” he affirms. I knew he meant it and I knew right then what he had meant. I didn’t tell him I love you too because I wanted it to be natural. I certainly felt like I loved him and that I’d been holding it back but I was also scared of the uncertainty of it all that I didn’t want to utter those words and bring a whole level of complication to our relationship. I smiled and nodded, hugged and kissed him. “You and your silly levels of affections. You’re totally in love with me. If you were with me for a year instead of couple of weeks and felt this way, you’d totally call it love. Deny all you want.” He understood that I couldn’t say it and he wasn’t mad nor did that hold him back, he understood in time that I would say it. “You wake up with me, sleep with me, text me all day, miss me all day, think about me all day, care about us constantly, worry about me. You’re gonna sleep with me. We’ve discussed how we’ll spend our lives together. And you still consider that "like"? I like the smell of burning wood. I think this is something more..you’re just scared to admit.” I agreed to this statement because it was nothing less than the truth.

After our wonderful night together we walked back to the car in the distance and he wanted to smoke a cig so I leaned against his car and stared at him while he smoked thinking, is this all real? He looked at the cars passing us, at the park beside us, the dark of the night, the lights of the peaceful street and then at me. “Hot car, hot chick; both are mine” He smirks. I stood there silent. And a few minutes later, he threw his hands down in frustration, it seemed like. “What’s wrong?” I asked him.

“This is it” He replied. “I want to be with you and nothing else.” I knew it was genuine, I felt it in the way he said it, his body language.

We drove home and he admitted to it being the best night of his life. He felt content and happy. He was willing to go through any hoops for me, the distance no matter how far. He wanted, from that point on, nothing but to be with me, forever.