l-o-v-e’s just another word..

3oh!3 – so not my typical taste, but i’m addicted. i don’t know why.

last night i finally got the nerve to call jeremy out on the way he’s been treating me lately. of course i was called dramatic and ridiculous. but i got him to admit he hasn’t been very good to me at all lately. and i barely cried, go me.. my biggest goal was to not let things fall to silence because i know that just makes him agitated. he said at one point "i want to say what i’m thinking but i know you’ll just get upset and probably hang up on me like you did last time we got into a fight." last time, which was when i was severely upset with meg and instead of being understanding jeremy said, "maybe i’ll just go call rachael, she’ll probably be in a better mood." so yeah, i hung up. that was almost three weeks ago, maybe that’s what triggered this current slump. blah.

anyways, i said, "no, just tell me." so he said "you rely on people too much. you don’t depend on yourself at all, just other people." and i was like "yeah..i am like that. and it’s probably what makes me certifiably crazy. i can’t help it. i need people, i’m not you."

but in the end we were okay. and today we went to the video store for half an hour. the first time we’ve spent time alone together since..wow, like november. and i gave him his class ring back, because i told myself i don’t need to keep collecting people’s things.

though right now i have ben’s sweatshirt, hat, sunglasses and underwear; emma’s boots; and meg’s ring and stuffed turtle. not to mention books. but she has books of mine too, so that’s fair.

and it’s absolutely beautiful out today. spring is coming. which means summer. and i know it’s coming fast and i’m still kind of nervous for all the changes happening after this summer, but i’m just so so ready for winter to be done, as usual.