i hope you choke on the lines

an entry in questions.

who are you really? do i actually even like you as a person? as a friend? as more? could you be nothing to me if i tried harder? where is the line between love and hate? did someone teach you how to live in both worlds? can i learn? are lies easier because they sound nicer or do you really believe them just like i do? will my hard work at pretending to be apathetic pay off? will your hard work pretending to be empathetic get you a scholarship? are you really going to act like you mean what you say?

will you miss me? call me? remember me? still love me? did you mean it when you said you wanted to marry me? when you called me your best friend? your muse? your one constant? what if we never talk again? does it matter? when we’re twice our ages now will you still think of me as a friend? as more thana friend? will you think of me at all?

can you say "i’m sorry" and mean it for once?can you please say "i love you" to only me? does being so far away make out of sight, out of mind any easier? does calling you out on aything make you wat to change? or at least understand why i’m so frustrated? can i really not trust you? or you? who can i trust? is all this heartbreak and pain worth it?

when will i know the answers?